Looking at the calender, feeling like our days are numbered. Having never spent a day without you, now we'll spend three. Wondering who will feed our kitten. You hate that you can't always be there to protect me, but let's face it, the 82nd airebourne couldn't protect me. I'm a little too much like a whirlwind. Wake up wake up sugar.

Fall into this rhythm,
The pattern of my days.
My days are nights,
and my nights
are filled with you.

Last night I flipped through,
your impurities,
insecurities,
so much like my own.
"stick your heart
inside my chest"

I come to find
these nights with you close,
well I can finally rest.
Talk me in circles,
talk me to sleep,
After we make love,
when I weep,
you're wide awake,
watch over my sleep.

I whisper to you
the words
of every secret,
I've ever been known to keep.

"When I get up,
you sleep right through"
You go "back to bed to
re-dream me"

Shelby,
I just took 3 years worth of movie tickets, pictures, and love notes off my bullitin board. Bitter sweet goodbyes are the worst kind. I'm happy for the first time in a very, very long time. But part of you will forever be part of who I am. Too many memories and I remember everything. I can't just shut my heart like a door. Another chapter in my memory box.
I'd like to thank you. I'd like to punch you right in the kisser as well.

In loving and losing,
it is I who have lost most.
Gave you my hand and promised not to stray,
you fought against the things you wouldn't say.
You say we're both to blame, but I'm
rather inclinded to believe
You lost me.
I don't need to prove that I cared about you,
after three years of putting you first,
if you counldn't see it,
well i guess thats how it ended right there.
When people break up...usually, isn't one of them happy that it's over?
Or wouldn't they still be together other wise.
So yes.
I'm happy.
You pushed me and pulled me,

I'm watching things fall apart before my eyes and I'm not sure I care. I'm not your possesion and you can't own me. Push me away and watch me walk. Do you want me to leave?

10 days til my birthday. Really shitty timing for my world to go to hell.

I miss when your eyes pinned me to the wall and the your kisses left me naked. I miss the way your fingers teased their way past my insecurities. I miss the times I could focus because the words you texted to me made it clear I was needed.

I miss you. And I miss our love. I'm not sure I recognize us anymore.

Maine might suck, but so far, Referendum 71in washington, which expands domestic partnership rights to those of a married couple...Is winning. My girlfriend and I drove about and took down all the signs that the opposition put up in our town. And my mom forcibly removed one with her truck. I was SO proud. So. Main might suck, but Washington is on the war path so to speak. :]

Surprised even myself by not being upset. I got fired from my job...And ya know...It's still a good day. I started working there when I was barely 16. I'm 19 now. I started to out grow and be unsatisfied with the management and it's just better that it be over. I know that my fiance is worried...But it'll work out alright. Life is an adventure and I'm glad to be on my way.

In aprox 2.5 hours...The people in my town, my crazy exgirlfriends inculuded, will be able to find their token lesbian...On the corner...outside the YMCA...Dressed....As a Grape Cluster. With a hat and everything. Said grape suit...is as big as my car...Any volunteers to kill me? The sad part is...I'm kinda hoping it won't fit. :]

i think my girlfriend is falling out of love with me...

my oldest friends' mom sent me a facebook message saying that she is pregnant. I'm excited. She is married, but only 19 until Halloween. Crazy times.

If you can look in my eyes and tell me that we'll be alright, if you promise never to leave, you just might make me believe.

Why is it that you can write me pretty words and whisper I love you in your dreams and then hurt me beyond words the next week?

I keep saying that I don't deserve this but it won't change.

You find me when I'm close to the bottom and you just dig me in deeper. Do you care that I'm home crying? I'd give anything for you, but I can't sacrifice myself.

Could this hurt be the end?

i write here. on oasis. for two reasons.
i never have paper and i got tired of fishing paper chuncks out of my jeans after they'd been washed.
i don't need pity after a sad poem.
i don't need an ear willing to listen to my sorrows.
i know where to find that when needed. it's called a therapist. her name is michelle.
I'm solid and grounded in the knowledge of who I am and where I come from.
I don't need to make friends with somebody across the country.
It might not seem like it but i'm not trying to be a bitch. I'm just a little...miffed and annoyed.

I used to write midnight madness poems.
From the days when angst filled my soul to days when my soul was empty.
is it possible to lose your soul?
can sorrow be terminal?
Let not my tears fall unnoticed.
i long for hunger i can feel in my bones.
revelry.

Yesterday I:

Heard the story of my fiance's birth from her mom.
Ate really good lasagna.
Went to a 3 story lovers package and looked at glass dildos the size of my arm. scary!
Made apple pies for my lovers' birthday.
Laughed so hard it hurt.
Had amazing mind blowing sex that i think her family could hear us. :]