Okay.
I am a one person pride parade at college, but I am going back for spring break.
My sisters know and my mom knows.
My dad does not.
I really don't think he would have a problem with it, but after I told my mom, she told me not to tell him.

Things have been improving!
I got this button that says QUEER, because the giant rainbow lanyard wasn't getting anyone's attention and it has been wonderful!
It has made my life so much less complicated and I met more people who were Queer that I saw everyday that I wasn't sure were that way. COOL!

Ever since I started opening the door to the possibility that I could be gay, I go though these ups and downs.
Sometimes, when my own feelings shock me, I feel so sad. I don't know why. I guess I feel like I'm not the person I thought I was, or that other people think I should be. I don't really know why it makes me sad.

Sometimes I wish it wasn't true, but it is me.

It was kindof an accident, but at this point, these guys are going to find out one way or another.
Background.....

okay, this hasn't ever happened to me

I was just walking along and this girl who looks sort-of familiar saw me passing from a long way off. I gave her a cheery hello and she remarked that she was suprised that we live in the same dorm living area, and then she gave me her room number! She also said I should come by some time!

is she really asking me out?
she can't be serious...
wow

Valentines's was.....interesting

1) Went on a lovely outting/not a date-but really freakin felt like a date nice dinner with two friends (a guy and a girl).

and then this morning I found a wonderfull valentine under my door with a bunch of flowers.
It is not from any of my crushes, and I have many, but from someone who I least suspected.
I can't believe it.

I told my mom I was bi about a month and a half ago.
When she called me today she wanted to know a good time to call back and she asked when I was out of class.
I told her that the last thing I have to do is the Queer Student Union meeting.

There was this long pause on the phone....
...too long....

Then she changed the subject.

I just came out as bi/confused to my best L friend.
I had been feeling bad that I hadn't told her that I was really interested in girls yet, even though I started going to Queer Support meetings at school for a couple of weeks.

I was having a bit of a bum day yesterday.
Stress from tests and jelousy at all the happy couples.

But today, it is pouring rain.
I just love the rain, and I always have. The sound of it. The feel of it. How the cold wet air clings to my face and hair.

I think the most beautiful sound in the world is the sound of falling rain.
The sound of it falling off of roofs, trees, ubmrellas.

Half of me wants to be bitter at this holiday, being stuck single for no good reason that I can fathom, but half of me is still secretly hoping that someone will suprise me.

Not likely to happen I am afraid.

I haven't posted a lot in Oasis, I feel like I only just joined, but I am so gratefull that it is here.
I just started the coming out (as bi) process a few months ago, and a good portion of it I was away from my friends and primary support on break. Oasis was here as an outlet. Whenever I felt like I was the only person dealing with all this confusion and stess, Oasis was there.