I wonder where all the people are out there. Who know the way I feel. Where your direction in life is like a small narrow bike path leading onward to a healthy life. On one side of the path looms anorexia. On the other side binge eating. One false step and you find yourself veering off the path into the darkness once again. I have to widen the path.
I need to write this down and get it out of my head too.
Doing 100 on the highway with a 17 year old boy you're in love with is quite a free feeling.
Is the favorite pastime of my generation to take pictures of ourselves? Either in the mirror (making those obnoxious duck-ish lips. Ew. I hate that) Or with friends. Just to later put up on facebook? I'm guilty of doing it too, and while sometimes its fun, sometimes it feels so fake. I guess I would be a horrible model.
Time to write in my journal, because I can't for the life of me fall asleep. I don't know what it is. I don't know if its the depression, or the fact that this medicine causes my spine to grow.. how did they put it.. bony spurs. Which basically make it hurt like a bitch when I lie down. That feeling I used to have where a 1 or 2 possible sleeping positions weren't that great?
So making junk like that is kinda what I want in a career.
But then again I have about five other paths in mind.
Best to put this down in writing, so I don't forget what inspires me.
I quit my jobbb. Ha-ha ha ha-ha.
6.5 more hours of hell and I will never ever return to that restaurant and the smell of bleach all over me!!
Cross country is brutal. I love it =]
I feel pretty fucking used. I wish I could jump ahead to the part where our relationship is closer than it ever was (that always happens). But I guess I need the upper hand again first. Urggh. I fucking hate ego games. Its so... not me. I tell the truth, if I love someone I don't want to ignore them, I hate avoiding feelings.
''You love her. But she loves him. And he loves somebody else. You just can't win... And so it goes until the day you die. This thing they call love, it's gonna make you cry. I've had the blues, the reds, and the pinks. One thing's for sure;; Love Stinks.''
*sigh* So simple yet so true.
My ex boyfriend and I sneaked (Ha i wanna say snook. Sounds cooler) into his basement. I lost my virginity. Yadda yadda yadda. We climbed out the window, and went to Subway..
I love Tuesdays.
Oh and Cross Country boys have mad endurance <3
Warning: Emotional Horny Teenage Girl Ramblings
Just listen to the rhythm of my heart.... <3 favorite songg
It hurts to type. Had more blood taken today. This time the woman at least spoke english, but fuck. She left a huge bruise and my arm kills. Is that supposed to happen?
by Blue October. good song. im mentally drained. This 'rainkissed leaves' scent from Bath & Body works is really rad. I just wanna sit here and smell it. I wish smelling was more of a social activity than eating. I'd be skinnier. =/ In English we're reading Macbeth. I actually like it. Lady Macbeth is such a good character; total creeper. Also that's Tom DeLonge's company.