So! I ended up going for coffee with my friend this morning. The one I intended to come out to the next time I saw her because she called me when I was at her parents' house last night and said we had to get coffee today. Anyway.
No youth group for me tonight as my parents are going out to a friends' house for dinner and therefore can't drive me. Damn.
If I'm very lucky, I'll be going to the LGBT youth group in my city for the first time this Saturday. *is excited*
I'm going out for coffee with a friend who I barely know tomorrow. I came out to her on a massive rolercoaster in the middle of being flung upside down, so I'm fairly sure she thought I was kidding. ...lame is me, I know. *g*
Writing this for the soul purpose of procrastinating on my poem essay that I have to do for our group English project tomorrow. ...the project that is secretly Pride, I *swear*. I mean...I'm wearing a tie with suit jacket+pants+shirt, a guy in the group is wearing a long female wig (note, he also wore a dress for the last presentation he did) and a girl is wearing rainbow wings.
I? Am over her.
My crush, I mean.
Also please note that this is a blatant lie, but we're ignoring that fact for the moment.
I went to the party on Friday night and barely spoke to anyone because...they all knew each other. I? Didn't know anyone. There was one other girl there who was in the same boat as I, and she said even less than I did. It was not super fun.
Okay! So, y'all have nothing better to do with your time than read this and give me some quick advice, right? Right.
I have no words to describe a concrete form of this thing between me and you
Nor any specific political and philosophical ideas to bring to your attention
When we speak of such matters, as we so often do.
You speak the words and write them on crisp white notepads kept by the phone
Sing them in the shower, sign them through the window
Mark up paper napkins and sugar packets
If an emotion or idea is thought, but never put forth by written or spoken word, does it still exist?
I have this incredible urge to over-quote the Dresden Dolls right now brought on by the CD I got for Christmas. But...I won't, to save everyone's sanity.
After waiting upwards of three weeks past that fateful Monday afternoon in the middle of physics class when I gave her the note, all neatly sealed in an envelope and told her not to open it until she got home, I got the chance to speak with her. She hadn't been in class very much, lately, being sick more often than not, as far as anyone could tell.
I remember stopping right there,
under the moonlight with the waves against the shore and you were looking out to sea
trying to find someone, something you'd lost out there a million years before me and
I was feeling neglected so
I said "Here it is, look. Here is exactly what you want. Can you see it?"
And you said nothing, but I could not see it for it was not mine to see
And that night under the solitude and under your spell I cried a tear of