Okay sooo..
T. The girl I like.
Who also likes me.
But completely outranks me in the whole social-standing ladder.

Is staying over my house in like, just over a week.
And I've been thinking of what's gonna happen, lol.
We've already decided we're going to get drunk. We're pretty much those typical teenage delinquents. Except with a little more class ;)

i dont think i could've gone to sleep with a heavier heart than i did last night.
nor could i have woken up feeling more miserable than i did.
it just seems really fucking..gah. i can't even think of the words for it.
she led me on, all the signs, signals and compliments.

i need to get laid.

wait.
scratch that.

i wanna get laid.

=[

from active sex / whatever life. to boring as hell.

sorry if thats a bit. detailed. which it really isnt. but yeah.

i'm just an overly-incredibly affectionate person.
really clingy too. and i love intimacy
i loveee just lying there with someone in my arms, or being held by someone.

okayy so.
the girl im totally crushing on.
is causing me so much grief at the moment.
rediculous amounts.

it just feels like. i dont know. we're drifting apart or something?
and there's nothing i can do about it.
its just weird.

i have a swimming carnival tomorrow.
im going decked out in rainbow.
i'm sort of nervous but yaeh. hehe. looking forward to being the token rainbow.

want to write me a 500 word essay on Migration to Australia from War-Torn Europe during 1940-1970?

I'd really appricate it.
Because my head is NOT EFFING WORKING.
I'm too distracted about heart issues.
That are screwing me over bigtime.
I met a boy. He's pretty much perfect. Like, really.

and if these words could self destruct
i'd send them deep into your heart
watch them explode like fireworks through your veins
watch the acid eat away at your sunken breath
this isnt the kind of death you expected.

so i'll let loose this curse of mine
let the fucking words seep from my lips
infect your flesh by fingertips
the colour runs from my nails painted black

argghhh.
i got a days suspension at school.
have to do it tomorrow. thankfully in internal suspension.
but the reason.. well. it sort of involves a fire extinguisher.
so i. meaning. my parents.
have to pay for a replacement.
which is $68.

suspension im not too worried about.

my parents are complete nuts.

i'm betting on...
5 month grounding.
no mobile phone.

WHY
ARE GIRLS
SO
CONFUSING
AND
WHYYY
DO THEY SEND MIXED SINGLES
AND GIVE FALSE HOPES ><

Arghh.
Well. At least one of them does that.
And this 'one' just HAPPENS to be the ONE girl I have a huge crush onnn ='[

Not fairrr.
I know I'm being childish but gahh...
It's just not fair.
Stupid Valentines day is tomorrow.
I hate it I hate it I hate it.
Well. This year anyway.

=[

Okayyy.
Just feel like putting this somewhere, just because.
But just scroll past it to read my random ramblings.
Its 12:30am here. And I'm tired but not tired enough apparently.
And I've had a long last.. Ah. 4 Days.
And I'm starting year 10 on Monday :|

Anyway. Here's the writings...

hold me close, you said.
but then you heard the front door