Well, it's that time again. That time in my life when the defining line of my sexuality fades and it's just a fuzzy mess. I've noticed it happens to me periodically. I feel strongly for girls emotionally and sexually, but I feel for boys emotionally. I'll think a boy is attractive, but as long as I don't think about the horror that hides in his pants (no offense boys).
My life has been going smooth. Everything's been hunky-dory. Just fine. And one text message makes it all fall apart.
I never wrote about her, but there was once this girl that liked me. I didn't want to date her because she seemed too clingy as a friend, so just imagine her as a girlfriend, so I stopped talking to her. I just didn't want to say it to her face that I couldn't date her.
We went to Truman State University for the Diversity day visit. It was very nerve racking at first, and I was afraid my shyness would kick in, but I grew confident as the day went on. The greatest part is that it was an overnight stay so I stayed with my host student (a girls ^_^) while my parents went back to the hotel.
Every year for band, we go on a spring trip. This year was supposed to be Disney World, but then it was downgraded to Chicago. From there, it was put down even more to Kansas City (in state). Such a bummer that I wasn't gonna go. But, my freshman buddy "Tara" wants me to go. She even asked me to room with her. So, we decided each of us will choose another person to room with us at the hotel because it's 4 people to a room with two beds.
Well, I chose an acquaintance of mine (for convenicence she'll be "A.A") that is rumored to be bisexual. No one is absolutely sure if she is or not, but Tara strongly believes so and was horrified when I stated that A.A. will be sleeping in the same room with us. I told her that it's not like A.A. will rape her in the middle of the night just because she's queer (if she really is that is. That girl has everyone confused.) Tara didn't say anything until the end of the day when she said, "Okay, but only if you share the bed with her."
I said I'd take care of my niece while her mom went to a make-up party or whatever the hell it is, but what she didn't tell me was she'd be gone for 3 fucking hours!!!!
Today we went to the mall, so guess what? I bought Bermudez Triangle! Yes! Thanks 808Chik for the suggestion ;D
For those of you who don't know, it's a GLBTQ related book. I'm excited to start reading it. Also, I'll be taking it to school, and I'm hoping someone will ask me what it's about because I want to see the look on their face! I'm sick of everyone thinking so badly about queers.
In AP Lit, we're reading Kate Chopin's novel The Awakening. It's a feminist book about a mother/wife that desires more independence, and on the journey of her awakening she begins to abandon her responsibilities as a mother/wife. At first, I was very excited because I was hoping it'd turn out her being lesbian or in love with her dear female friend (because they are quite friendly with eachother), but sadly she falls for another man. Well, I began telling my parents of the book. About how I can relate to Edna about the whole independence thing without kids and a husband...
Today at school we did an iFlUrTz deal. It's a questionaire that you fill out questions of your likes and dislikes, and it gives you a computer match of your perfect boyfriend and stuff like that. It's a fundraiser for the school. Anyway, me and my metro buddy were talking all loud and said we wish there was a lesbian and gay option to do this thing.
I haven't written in forever. There hasn't been much going on. Mostly, I just applied to McDonalds today. My brother works there. I hope I get the job so I can go down to Arizona to see my friend's graduation. Wish me luck.
Em, I'll type just a bit because I have school tomorrow. Meh.
Anyway, school's been out because of an ice storm. So, we've been on and off with power the last week, so obviously school was out. But, it hasn't been the best because the cold icy rain with no heat source is a bit of a downer, right?
I'm having trouble with my GLM project. My scanner isn't working...
I don't know, I'm just really bored. I've been wanting to write a journal entry, but it's hard to do that when nothing's really been going on!
I'm excited about the Gay Like Me Project. I'm trying to get started on some drawings because they take me so damn long to do.
Does anyone here love squirrels?
I haven't posted for some time now, but I haven't been up to much. I survived the whole Christmas break without getting sick, which is a huge feat for me because I'm an easy target for sickness. Well, it got me the first day of school. It's not an average, "oh, I'm coughing with a runny nose" cold.
This is my Charles Jr. (not his real name according to my sis but, whatever, he knows who his real mommy is (me) and he listens to that name.) "Santa" brought this loveable bundle of joy to us. I LOVE HIM! Isn't he so cute?
Today was very pleasant. FRICKIN' YES!
I went to the mall today with my parents. As usual, I separated from them and went wandering around. I went to Spencer's and saw a poster of the T.A.T.U. girls making out. HOTT!!! I really wanted to buy it except for two things: I'm broke and where would I put it? I could keep a secret lesbian shrine in my closet, but that's risky. But my brother has pictures of nearly naked girls on his wall, so what'll be the problem if I have a poster of two kissing girls? Well, there is the whole fact that I'm a girl. But then again my parents need to realize that many females no longer fit the status quo....
I've caught myself saying that phrase a lot. "My gosh." What's so appealing about it that I keep saying it?
Anyway, we're giving my brother back his laptop since I got one for Christmas. Well, we have DSL, so we need a download disk to get it to work on my computer. Unfortunately, I can't find it! So I've been on hold waiting for an agent to ask for one >_<