Our school had a kick ass concert last night. The 8th grade band played, the one that I'm in. Then we went into the audience and the Chorale sang their songs. One of them was in Afrikaans or something and this kid next to me Brandon goes "Why are they singing in Afrikaans? I don't understand them." And I was like You're saying Afrikaans wrong.
Aaaand thennn... the Hildamin Chorale (I really don't know how to spell that) came up and sang. They're like some community group of old people, and there was one white lady. (not meaning to be racist, just telling the truth) They sang like 7 songs and that made the concert go on till like 8:30 instead of 8.
I told my mom that Hanby and Talley (the two other middle schools) would be there, because Mr. Baronio, our band teacher, said something about them coming. But it turns out that they're coming on like the 11th. Blonde moment.
During the Chorale's preformance, Bonnie (member of the Muffin Club) was all like *gets off beat during the clapping and messes up*
That made me laugh. It seems like something I would do.

just to be a follower and be so unoriginal...

-sleeping
-my doggie
-my friends who make the best couple ever
-apple juice
-my camp sandy hill
-talking to my buddies
-johnny depp
-corbin bleu
-reading
-this guy at school
-girls at the pool
-boys with no shirts on
-chocolate
-tigger
-penguins
-spongebob
-avatar
-hanging out with my buddies
-drawing
-swinging on tire swings
-ice cream
-scoring at soccer

and thats enough. im afraid that if i kept going, it'd get toooooo long.

by the way, snow day today. i spent it getting yelled at for being on the computer, and then shovling ice for an hour and a half. do you know how hard that is? so theres a layer of slush, then ice, then snow, then ice, then snowish stuff. what the hell. it weighs a ton and makes me mad. anyway, it was fun having no school. my doggie looked so cute with the snow on his wiskers!!

so my friend Bonnie had her birthday party yesterday. it was ten of us crammed into her basement type floor area, because her house has a lot of levels. i wanted to sleep on the couch, and so did Hilde. (ex) it ended up with everyone else on the floor and me and Hilde on this teeny tiny couch that is only made for one person to sleep on, with a very heavy blanket. we started sweating, it was gross. (we werent DOING anything!) just, maybe snuggling like we used to. um, it kinda got carried away when everyone else was alseep, but it was just like a bit more than snuggling. (just a bit) so we started talking about it, and she says 'are we, ya know, thing again?' and i was like 'no' and then she said something like 'this isnt fair.' like, to me about what she was doing if that makes sense. we decided to go up to Bonnies loft, above her mommys room because it was too hot and sweaty. once up there, we talked for a little about stuff. and it was like we're not back together, i just missed snuggling too much. and so we were cool. i guess.

well, i spent my afternoon remaniscing about my ex. it made me really depressed. when i got home and on AIM, i was talking to her about that and she was making me feel better. then she says well, you know whats gonna happen between us. and im like is that supposed to mean something? like, are you gonna ask me out again? and then she says very little. and im like ok. so you spend all this time making me feel better about trying to get over you, then you go and burst that bubble and make me depressed again. great. so then i go up to my room to do homework, and i cant because im stuck thinking about her. and im like goddamnit brain stop! i mean, its nice to remember all that but like, it sux that its never gonna happen again and that makes me sad.
on a happier note! we were in l/a today, and my ex is like my [persuasive writing paper] totally goes against what i believe! its saying that you shouldnt be gay and how bad being gay is ect. so then im like perfect! i mean, ive had this thing in the back of my mind forEVER and i finally have an excuse to say it! so im like (pretending to be someones friend) are you homophobic? (pretending to be that personds friend) uhm. no...then i'd be afraid of myself...
and everyone lauged. it made me feel good.

ok, so all this week and the last week we had school we were doing fasion shows in spanish. all of the groups did a really good job, everyone was dressed well and spoke well. then it was my groups turn. aaaaaaand then it was my turn. i fell. actually, i had a soccer ball because i was supposed to be a soccer player. so i had the ball right and i had my foot on it and went to take another step and fell. and everyone laughed. and my teacher got it on tape. and then when he went to talk to people about how the show was (like he always does) the focus of his attention was me tripping and falling. people said how funny it was, how they counldnt stop laughing, and how the "ball tripped me." i almost died of embarrasment. they were so mean!! but then he asked my friend dominique, and she goes "i felt bad...i hope shes ok!!" and i ran over and hugged her. then, because i had spanish 2nd period of the day, my teacher went and showed every other class what i did. so people would come up to me in the halls and be like "hey, nice fasion show!" or "who am i?" and then fall over. it was so humiliating! i hated it. now i have to go to my friends house to get my soccer stuff because it was raining when i rode my bike home and so i asked her to take it... lets see if shes home! (maybe she'll bring it over!!)

oh! and i had a great new years!! my friend had her new girlfriend becki over, and a group of us called the Muffin Club. my friend bonnie drank like 4 bottles of sparkling apple cider, she claimed because they have none at her house ever. so we watched ice age the melt down, and bonnie started throwing stuff at becki, who was snuggling with her girlfriend. (the one who set this all up) and you'd hear ... OWCH! BONNIE!! but all's good. so it was like 4:30, and the older girls were like ok we're going to bed goodnight! and so we stayed up for like ever after that. and so becki calls across the dark basement "hey, are you ok with this?" of course, shes curled with her girlfriend under a blanket on the floor, doing who knows what. and im like ok with what and she wont tell me. so she goes upstairs (we're in the basement) to go to the bathroom, and i go up to get some water. i was coming back down, and she comes and goes "so, obviously you aren't ok with this. something happened between you and (her girlfriend). do you want to tell me?"
so we go over to the couch, and i tell her the story of how he girlfriend was my girlfriend, and we were all happy and stuff. then i find her journal here, and it says all this stuff about how she doesnt want me/love me anymore. and i sit on the couch and cry. so then becki tells me how her girlfriend for 4 years did that to her, got back together, then broke up with her again. so then we understood eachother and stuff, then started talking about george bush. and i was fucking MAD! i hate him! so then everyone else (except the older girls) came up and just sat there at the table, watching us and eating grapes and stuff. so i felt uncomfortable, so i went to bed. by then it was 6:15, and i got 1/2 hour of sleep, then ate breakfast and my dad picked me up. slept. ate dinner. watched football. slept. school.

I'm sorry in advance for how long and random i think this is gonna get.

So i havent posted in like forever. only reason: i had nothing to talk about. ok, ya sure big things have been happeneing. but i had no time! (laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame) anyway, im going to my friends house for new years, and I CANT WAIT!!! the mc (muffin club(group made up last year of us queeries)) is going to be there, and so is the persons' gf!!! woo. from what she says about her (because she sure says alot) (hahahahah jk) she sounds pretty damn cool. she met her at some book club thing at UD. she started spazzing in class on two wednesdays ago because she didnt know what to wear to the monthly gathering to "impress her" it scared me. she was starting to sound like a GIRL. anyway, i dont know how thats gonna be, seeing as she and i used to go out. (the one whos house im going to that got the new gf)

so my uncle thad has been here for christmas. that was fun. he left at 430 this morning. he has gotten more nicknames in this 6-day-visit than in his whole life. heres a few: uncle chad, sir chadworth, uncle chaddy, uncle beavis, uncle beaver, beavis, uncle cheezer, cheezer. and thats all i can remember. but i think that my xmas was the best ever. i got a tigger ornamint, a tigger mug, a hat, gloves, a PENGUIN shirt, a book, a gift card to buy books, a chocolate santa, a computer game that im gonna play after i finish this, seasons of a show i like, some little glass figures, and thats about it.

OMG my mom is in india. we had such a hard time with that. first, her plane got delayed here in philly, and the people said DO NOT APPROACH THE COUNTER. but, the other people in her party DID approach the counter and got on the flight to wherever they were going. so my mom was all alone and my dad was getting worried/pissed. (not a good combo with my dad) so she got on the flight to wherever, met up with the people, and then went off to india.
thats about it...

xoxo

any science wizez here????? *i know i spelled that wrong, shaddup*
i need to know what the oxidation process is and i dont. help!

alright this'll be short. on this show on tv a guy just got pissed that the other was gay. its called the real world denver on mtv. anyway, he goes you know i have a problem with homosexuality. and the gay guys like what if i said i had a problem with you being black. cuz the other guy is black. and he goes time out, i didnt choose to be black, you chose to be gay. and the gay guys like NO I DIDNT DAMMIT. and im yelling at the tv YOU CANT FUCKING CHOOSE TO BE GAY DAMMIT!
its ok though because i dont have school today and im home alone. well, my doggie chuck is here. lol. so yeah, my day's ruined. maybe karate'll help.

well i havent posted in a bit. my birthday was yesterday, and now i'm 14. yes! i spent the weekend in baltimore with my friend and her mom and stepdad. we had our own hotel room, but there was these 2 doors that could be opened and you could go into their room. (her mom and stepdad.) anyway, we had the best visit ever! ok so her parental units went out to a romantical dinner in the resaurant that was in the hotel, and we ordered room service. it isnt all its cracked up to be. anyway, we got pizza and chocolate cake. and water. the delivery guy came, and we got the pizza and water. he left so we ran out after him to tell him we didnt get the cake. annnnnnnnnnnnnd... we didnt have the room key thingy. and the door shut all the way behind us. we were like oh shit. and we were wearing pjs and no shoes. so we decided to not call her parental units in the place, (the cell was in the room. ugh.) and go down to the front desk and tell the people. we were in the elevator, and some random lady goes i like the pjs. and then we got to the lobby, told the lady behind the desk, and got a new card key. then when we were going up in the elevator to get back into our room, i saw a cute couple and told them to make sure they both had the key so they didnt get locked out like we did. i think i scared them. whatever. end of that story. theeeeeeeeeeeeennnn we decided to go swimming in the pool. and we had no bathing suits. we were like what the hell and went in shorts and t shirts. a lady in the pool came up and was like did you ladies forget your swimsuits? and then went on to tell us about how when she was in upper Michigain and there was this much snow on the ground, that the outdoor pool was open and her son pushed her in, so she pushed him in and her husband started yelling at them. what a loooooser. she should get a wife. lol. so we hung our wet pool clothes in the bathroom, and our bathroom smelled like pool (it stunk!) for the next day. end of story. then we went to barns and nobles. the book store. and we looked in the teen section and there was a *lesbian and gay* section. as we passed, she goes "thats my section right there" and i was like hah. cuz shes bi too. and there were these 2 girls there being like wow now i know why our school is so GAY. hehe. so i found this really good book called is he or isnt he. its about this gay guy
Anthony and his bestest friend Paige. and how they both decided to get a boyfriend before some school dance. then they meet Max, and cant decided if he's gay or not. so they try to figure it out, and i wont tell you the end unless you ask nicely. (im making you read it :)) i got four books. end of story. ok, i think thats the end of my weekend in baltimore story.
oh, i want to change my name here. like, on oasis. i have an idea, i just dont know how to change it. any help?

so I was going to watch a movie with my friend tonight, as in THE FOX AND THE HOUND cuz that movie's crazyawesome. then she calls me to say that "something came up that i have to go to. tomorrow ok?" and im like, sure why not? you're my bestest friend anyway. (no thats not sarah, its my buddy sam) oh totally off topic sam and i are formal dates. haha its a joke, but how much do i want that to be true? EVERY fucking time i fucking say it. thats ok thought, because there's this guy i wanna ask. shaddup, i know its in like, april or something BUT theres always time to dream right? anyway, back on topic. so then i get a call from my dearest darling mother, sayint that i cant have sam over tomorrow if i dont do what she asked me to. (she being the parental unit) so im like ok.
"ben" my brother. "go mail mom's package" and hes sitting there on the couch looking at me like i just asked hm to jump off a cliff. he says "no i emptied the dish washer" so i have a breakdown, screaming at him that he has to take this package because i took it last time. i get so pissed, that i just grab the thing, and walk out the door and mail it. then my mom comes home saying what a hard day of teaching she has. she teaches first grade. the little kids are SOOOOO cute!!! ok so anyway. then she says that because shes taking ben to basketball (yay he made the school team!!!) that she didnt have time to make the appitizer for the party shes going to later. she goes into school because shes not ready for monday and i call her and volunteer to make this reallllllllly yummy bread that she makes sometimes that i help with and she says ok and hangs up. so then i made the bread and listened to RENT with the volume up really loud and my doggie Chuch waddles in and looks up at me like 'what are you doing? can i have some cheeze?' because cheeze is his fav. food. and im like NO Chuch go away. and he waddles away. then i finish the bread and come and post this. oh before that i do the poll thing, and then find out some really upsetting information and almost cry. but im ok now. cheers.

well I havent posted in a bit, but I HAVE been looking at what all you other people have been posting. It seems that the majority of you are here to rant about how you're crushing on her, but you dont want her to know that you're gay. or that you like him, but you dont wanna tell him you're bi. i know how all of you feel, but i just wonder... wouldnt life be easier if we could all just be out and proud (i know some of you are) and let the world know what we ARE gay or bi or whatever. i think that as who we are, we get discriminated against unfairly and i dont like that. to make myself feel better, i think i might become the first ever women president and change all the state laws about same sex marrige. i mean come on. is it really that bad that that girl over there likes that one shes hanging out with? (or possibly going out with?) or is it so hard to believe that some of us were born differently than that striat girl or boy playing basketball?
i just thought of someting Pocahontas said to John Smith. well, she was all pissed that he calle dher./her people savages, and she went and climed the tree. then he tried to follow her and make up for what he said cuz he is starting to like her. so then he falls, stands up, and she walks over and says "what you mean, is not like you" and i am like OMG I LUV YOU POCAHONTAS! except not cuz shes ded and otherwise i'd be in love with some drawing on a notepad. so anyway. my point of this is that im upset about being hated for who i really am. it doesnt seem right. well at least not to me. i guess if its agains your religeon thats ok, but what if you ARE that religeon and you ARE gay? what are you going to do then? pretend to be strait for your parents sake? then get a girlfriend or boyfriend and just come home one day saying im gay, only to get thrown out of your house?

too many questions. anyone got answers?
...or just thoughts on top of this. either or's ok with me.

so i was watching parental control on whatever channel its on. so there was the main guy, hes gay, and his parents dont like his boyfriend. so when hes on one of his dates, his boyfriend *at home watching this with the guys parents, and he looks at the guys mom and goes "you know, its women like you that make me glad im gay"
and i was like OMG thats the coolest thing i've EVER heard!!!!

THEN at the end. the main guy eliminated the one guy his mom picked for him. and then he turns to the guy his dad picked and his boyfriend, and goes im sorry *to the guy dad picked( bye
and he goes sorry i like ur b/f and they leave kissing i was like
omg how cool?