Well everyone I’m sure you noticed that, in some way, I was in a state of panic in my last journal entry. Well for finalities sake, I was. Things seem better now though. I went to his house again on Thursday and I had a good time, an actual good time, and I felt fine, better actually, after I had left.

I'm going to copy and past bits of a conversation I had with a girl who is my friend that I just recently had. It is about the friend it has become apparent I am in love with.

I left his place feeling more alone than I did when I walked in.

To top that off he knows I'm gay. He doens't make a big deal about it or anything but I feel like that further seperates us.

Monday, May 19, 2008, 1:06 AM

Ok so I know that its late (early technically) and that I’m probably doing myself in cause I’ve got class at eight in the morning and I have to wake up at six am to get there on time but I just happen to have so many things running through my head.

I feel kind of crummy right now, but I must admit that my day could have been a lot worse.

Should I call him on Monday after he's out of classes?

He's made the last two phone calls, albeit just to say hey. I feel like I need to make a move and call him because I feel like I'm losing him.

Gosh! I just got a very interesting phone call, and not because of what was said during it. It was interesting because of what was not said during it. My good friend called me tonight, and he didn’t say much but I feel like that says a lot, especially since he called, basically, just to say hey.

I would LOVE any opinions on what my dream means.

I had a dream with my dad My friend and My friend A in it.

I don’t know why it makes me happy, but somehow it does. I’m still thinking about it obviously otherwise I wouldn’t be writing about it.

Finally what I've wanted to happen for some time now has happened, he called me! He did it on his own time, and thus he actually wanted to talk to me. I could tell just by the sound of his voice.

Well I guess I feel ok, though that may be an overstatement. I just read the post that Jeff wrote on my last journal entry and there was some sense to it. I’m making all the apparent moves. My friend is never calling me, the most he’s done is text me, twice, and only one of them was actually fully addressed to me.

Well I haven't don't much of anything but a lot of panicking lately. I have two papers due very soon, and the school years end is only getting closer. I'm glad I got one of them done, I'm turing it in today in about ten minutes actually, so forgive me of my typos, lol.

Well I just wanted to let those who read know that I did receive a phone call from him the very day after I called him in fact. It was a very short phone call, but everything seemed A-OK, if not even positive. We didn't make any plans to do anything but that seems fine. We just talked for a couple of minutes and that was that.

Well, everyone who's been reading, I FINALLY called him. I feel partially bad because I was orginally going to wait until next weekend to call him but today has been such a nice day I thought I wouldn't be going against myself to call him, and it's not like it hasn't been three weeks at least.

Just a quick question here. If I recall correctly, there is, basically, an age requirement to be a member on this site, if you're over that then its the boot...at least I think...if that's the case, what happens to our journal entries after were gone?

Well I still haven't received a call from him but I don't expect him to call me anyway. I only hope he will eventually. I did however post a hey on his myspace page. It was just a simple hey, I don't see how that could break anything.

Tuesday, April 08, 2008, 8:14 PM

Well everyone I don’t know what to call it, but I’m having it. It’s not quite a week, but it also involves parts of last weekend and week so technically it’s been the length of a week but it’s not a week. I don’t think there’s a name for it. Anyway I’ve had an interesting whatever that’s called.