Well. Hello again. Been a while since my llast entry. I know, I know... But.. God, everythings's become sooooo complicated!
I love the way I always get asked 'soo... Your best friend... are you into her?' IDIOTS!?
Okay. This is me ranting,and oh yes, there will be bant! For rant is a great thing! Not like my best friend and her stupid sucky boyfriends. How I hate my life at these times.
So, she's been dating this guy, didn't like him, and he was a total ass after a beer! THEN, she broke up with him today and I was there for her, comforting her, just feeling that now, NOW she might spend more time with me. Yes, a selfish thought, but what the hell am I supposed to do? She's told me herself that she loved me, (not in a rauw way but still!) So I comforted her, ate with her, and spend a great day in general with her. So, later she's about to leave. Going to meat with his best FRIEND! Who she's kissed by the way, (before), she tells me he's a lousy kisser, and even though I barely met this guy I can find so incredibly many faults about him! He's plainly just not good enough for her, and I can't see why she'd do that?! She one of those "Oh, I don't jump from guy to guy" but apparently she does! So I confronted her about it, and she tells me, 'not gonna date him. I'm not' Gives me a bit of a guilt trip, but why would she do it, I mean she can't deal with that stuff, I mean I love her, and such, but can't she see it's not good going from one to another?!
So my vacations been.. pretty sucky to say the least, didn't think anybody wanted to hang out with me...
BUT! Then today I hung out with my friend Martin, and just talked, though it was sorta awkward, dunno why?
Then, I get this textmsg saying 'what are you doing tonight?' From my friend (girl) who I havn't seen in a couple of days, and I seriosuly missed her! So I'm all over it, wanting to be with her in the evening. So as I get home, she tells me she's going to be there in an hour or so, and in the meantime my friend Mikhail comes over to borrow a dvd (Rocky horror picture show) winks at me telling me to 'make it hot' with her.
Whew, So, just recently told me mum and dad that I was gay, I don't get why I was so nervous, or actually I do. My dad seems to have a problem with gays(though mostly gay men.) But they took it really well, I've known for about a half a year. It dosn't hurt my brothers gay either. I'm so thankful for that at this point, made comming out easier, cus' I knew they wouldn't disown me or anything.
I'm having holdidays. No, wait, I HATING holidays at this point!. The Fall vacation actually. And of course there's nobody to hang around with. Well, there are I'm just.. kinda mad at him at this point? Anyway, My parents are divorced, and I'm bored so I figure 'Hey! I'll go visit my mum!' and normally there wouldn't be a problem, it's just that last time I went I took a girl with me (friend), an my mum and her really like eachother, nothing like that, it's just, she's outta town for a bit this week and I thought, since she's not at home, I could still go. But then she's like 'Arn't you bringing me, you'll just have to wait till I come back? It was so cozy last time! I thought I was invited?' And I love her truly do, but 1) my sister pokes at me at this point, I guess she's hurt I didn't tell her first? and 2) I'm gonna be bored the days that my friend isn't here. I'd love for her to come of course, everything just seems so much better when she's around, and I'm a bit of a ranter but heres the issues: