Umm, I don't like this feeling that's been coming over me more frequently lately. Loneliness. Mostly on the romantic side of things. I miss the things I haven't even really had: The kisses. Touching. Cuddling. Joking. Being completely comfortable with someone.
I have two gay cousins! TWO! And I never even knew about them. How awesome is that? They're my dad's nephew and niece (first cousins to me!) So apparently the gay genes come from my dad's side. hehe.
I saw my gay cousin at the wedding, though my lesbian cousin couldn't make it. BUT after doing some major creeping on Facebook today, I found some photos of her. She didn't have any on her profile that I, a non-friend, could see, so I clicked on one of her FB friends, that I had a hunch about, and she had photos of my cousin for me to see! Haha. So creepin'
I watched Fingersmith and The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, this weekend. Both were quite good and both managed to evoke some kind of emotion from me.
I LOVED the first part of Fingersmith, it was so good! And the romantic-y bits were fantastic. The love scene was quite nice; kinda hot but not explicit (not a bad thing at all in my books.) But the second part was kind of underwhelming to me. Plus, there weren't any romantic bits, save for one...and I'm a romanceaholic. I crave it and feed on it in all types of media.
...before I went to bed I rewatched all the good bits XD
Well, some of the wedding photos finally made their way onto Facebook.
It was fun for a while. I enjoyed looking at them and reading the comments.
Then my sister made a backhanded comment about me.
The fun stopped.
I miss you. I miss our friendship. More than I'd ever let you know. Lets face facts, I won't let you know at all. I'm too afraid to. I don't know what you're thinking. If you miss hanging out too or what. You've sent a few texts the past week since I last saw you. I have to say, I have no idea what they mean. I'm sitting here trying to figure out if it means you're trying to reach out or what...
My sister's wedding was last weekend and it turned out beautiful! The ceremony was on a dock at a lake, which involved all the ladies walking down this staircase and over some rocks in heels! The weather forecast was calling for rain that day, but they were (thankfully) totally wrong. After the ceremony we went to the golfing greens with close family to take some photos.
I had my FIRST BREAST EXAM EVER. I had a female medical student examining me for most of the physical. She did the routine stuff and then she asked me whether or not I wanted a breast exam done and I said, "May as well, while I'm here" Seriously, sometimes I surprise myself. Three years ago, I don't know that I would've been so okay with the idea of a stranger seeing me naked, let alone let alone touch me. So I changed and then laid down on the table where she proceeded to TOUCH ME INAPPROPRIATELY!!! KIDDING! But seriously, I haven't seen so much action in yearsss!!! LOL.
So, later today after I finally sleep we make our three and half hour drive to the place where my sister is getting married. Damn, I hope my other sister, who is driving us there, plans on stopping for lunch! It's gonna be a lonnggggg trip. I'll probably have to pee like ten times on the way. To much information? lol.
I'm so stressed out about what to do with my dog while we're away for the wedding. I don't want to leave her at home for two days, that's not cool. I was/still am planning on taking her with us and just leave her at the inn while we're gone for the rehearsal dinner on Friday and the actual wedding on Saturday, but now I'm wondering if that's even a good idea. Anybody have any experience with leaving their pets in hotel rooms?
I feel kinda alone. I've spent all of today in my room mostly on the internet and I also did some cleaning. All I did was ask innocently if my mom was going out today and she barks back, "I don't have any money!" Well, shit, how is that my fault? My plan today was to go to the fucking bank and give you that $100 you asked for. But after that, why the hell would I want to?
I've started to read the Pretty Little Liars books. I'm more than half way through the first one and it's actually quite good. It's interesting to see the changes they made for the TV show. But I really wish that they had included this one Emily/Maya scene cause it was awesome. It reminded me a bit of Emily and Naomi's scene from Skins where they go to the lake/creek or whatever, but minus the drugs and love making. Hee.
Online someone gave me, perhaps, a neat idea. To come out on April Fools Day so that if anyone had a bad reaction or whatever you could just back out of it saying you were just "April fooling" them.
We had my sister's bachelorete party last the weekend, but I'm going to write about that another day because I heard and found out a few things that NEVER EVER EVER EVER needed to hear or know. And I got pissed off a few times over the course of the two days I was there, too. Oh, and we went to my older sister's cottage for the party instead of the ten other places she wanted to go.
Today while walking through the mall I saw these two girls holding hands. They were probably teenagers 17-ish or something, both femme. After I saw them I walked through the mall with a stupid smile on my face. XD
It always makes me happy to see gay couples, but then it reminds me that I don't have that. Today it kinda made me wish that I had somebody to go with to my sister's wedding. It would've been amazing to be there with a girl that I was in love with.
Yeah, apparently there might be stripper at my sister's bachelorette party that I'm most likely going to. I was talking to my other sister and she said that I should brace myself because a police man might a come a knockin' on the door that night. As long as he stays away from me I'm okay with it. This will either be very entertaining or very embarrassing or a combination of both.
I finished off the first season of True Blood. It took my mind off of everything and made me feel a hell of a lot better. Amen. I hope my library gets the second season. And soon.
And I got Chely Wright's memoir, Like Me, the other day from, you guessed it!, the library, it's a pretty interesting read so far. It's way gayer than I expected. I thought her sexuality would be spoken about a few times, but it's a running theme throughout. From the time she was a kid and she knew she was "different" to being an adult having relationships and hiding them and the harm it caused.