In some ways yes that is true. Hopefully im not insane but anyways today was good. National Coming out day has become my favorite holiday because I found out this amazingly gorgeous hippie type person who is a senior is gay. Yeah she was wearing rainbow today. It couldve been just a coincidence but I prefer to be optimistic. Plus people have told me they think shes gay. Yeah Ive got to stop getting crushes on random girls its bad for my mental health. Ive been like asking people around me for her name its pretty hilarious. Im just a weird person. I prided it up by wearing a rainbow belt its the only rainbow thing I have its sad i know.
Yes that may sound a little wierd coming from a girl whos dressed as a tomboy her whole life but if you knew me like in person it would make sense. Im always worried that ill be mistaken as a guy and it didnt help that my ex treated me like her boyfriend. Ive jsut been too afraid to actually admit it because i dont want to be treated like some guy who doesnt cry and has no emotions whatsoever. I heard this quote somehwere, "Im a butch on the outside and femme on the inside". Just cause I like wearing comfortable clothes that i dont feel like are suffocating me doesnt mean i dont cry at every chickflick i go too. Ive just had a hard time making people understand it.
About a yeat ago right about now I considered myself bisexual. I dont know the exact date but when i did it ffelt so much better. So maybe i was lying to myself a little (i only like girls) but i finally accepted the fact that i atleast liked girls in some way. Its scary to think its only been a year since I partially accepted myself seeing as how im out to everyone and time jsut goes by sp fast. So happy anniversary me!
I got extremely bored today and I felt the need to post this although it shows how strange I am, but whatever.
Yes, it is true. I have found another. Im sorry for leaving you and going to myspace. But myspace just makes me happier. It gave me all the things you couldnt.
You helped me when breaking up with my girlfriend so I didnt have to do it over the phone. When talking to my friends so I could feel better. I appreciate it, I do.
Errr why do i procrastinate? soooo much homework and papers to write its crazy. I have no idea how im going to manage 4 years of this. If anyone has any ideas on how to stop procrastinating im all ears. Cause im gonna regret it if i keep this up.
Ive started a new story so ill probably post it on here once im done with the first chapter to see if i should keep going with it.
I talked to my guidance counselor today and she said since the people who normally ran the G.S.A graduated there probably isnt going to be one this year.
I got kinda bored with this story so sorry if it sucks. This is infact the end. And I decided just to name it Untitled because it explains everything without really saying anything. Comments are appreciated. Thanks to the people that read any of this!
Chapter 9: Jess
Slowly ascending the stairs to my room I reached my door ready to crash at the first sight of the bed. I can’t sleep without music though so mustering up the energy, I crossed my room and pushed play to the song that reminded me of Jamie.
no not really. I was just watching the movie The Heathers and its a line in the movie im not that messed up. Its actually really good .
In other aspects of my life...a lot of people have been "coming out" at my school. In other words straight girls have been coming out as bi to get attention from guys. Its really starting to annnoy me. They are just fueling homophobics and giving them reasons to say its a choice. For instance when I came out a "friend" of mine said she diidnt want to be my friend anymore i didnt really care about that shes really homophobic and i get it. But now shes saying shes bi and homophobic. I mean how stupid do you have to be to actually say youre bi and homophobic. Its like wow we all know youre straight so just stop trying to pretend. I feel better now sorry for venting my anger.
since today is Sept. 11 i thought id comment about that. Just like to say to all the families out there that lost there loved ones that im sorry. Ive been to ground zero and it is sooo sad to see the murals on the wall that say "I love you daddy" and "i miss you mommmy" im one of the people that hardly ever cry and I started to cry. I can safely say that i wont forget 9/11 and all the people that died that day.
I am now taking suggestions for titles cause its prett sad posting the 8th chapter and not knowing waht to call it. Once again thanks for reading this! Here are chapters 6,7,8.
Chapter 6: Annie
I no longer blame myself. I only let it sink in and embrace what happened. If I don’t, I’ll never get over what I did.
In the two weeks that have gone by I’ve gone to school and then driven home. I’ve tried to work up the energy to hang out friends, but too much too fast does more harm than good. I’m trying to take one baby step at a time. It doesn’t stop how I feel though.
I hate band. This kid in my class thinks its really fun to mess around with me. I know he thinks hes kidding around but hes a fucking asshole. Hes always messing with my shit and purposly saing shit like "thats so gay" when im around him and all this other stuff which I could go on a rant about. I cant change seats because you have to sit with your section and it just so happens that we are both 1st trumpets.
Chapters 4+5. Thanks for reading! Still no luck with the title I seem to have a block on it. Comments are appreciated :)
Chapter 4: Jess
I sat down on the dirty bathroom floor listening to Jamie as she explained what happened.
“I’m gonna kill her.
Once again heres part of a story i wrote. I still havent came up with a title but hopefully once I finish the rest I'll know by then. Again, I'd really apreciate feedback and thanks to people who read this.
Chapter 2: Jamie
Heading across the kitchen I balanced my cereal bowl careful not to spill any milk. I sat down in my usual spot at the table and placed my bag in the seat next to me. Double checking that all of my chex were covered with milk I took a bite of my favorite cereal.
Allright um i wrote this its fiction . If your gonna give me criticizm make it nice please. Thanks if you read this and give feedback. Um if people like it ill type up the rest.
I always believed that you could learn everything about a person through their eyes. I’m a sucker for green. Probably because it’s my favorite color; I used to think otherwise though.
High School is so different than i expected. There is so much freedom its awesome. The one thing that sucks though is I dont have classes with my close friends. Everyone is hanging out wiht different crowds now its wierd.Everyone is changing and im like stuck in the middle not sure what to do.Just when I figure out my schedule they change it on me. Instead of A lunch i now have B its confusing.
Have you ever made a mix for a old girlfriend/boyfriend and then broken up with them and now you cant listen to those songs because it just feels awkward and they dont have the same meaning anymore? Well thats what is happening with me. The worst part is I really liked those songs I mean they were my favorite. maybe with time I'll finally get over it. For now its just wierd.
On another note I start school tomorrow. I hope that there is atleast one hot girl who is out as a lesbian or bisexual. I dont think i can take it if there isnt. I have to have someone to occupy my time and daydream over while im bored in class. And i cant have it be a straight person. I am sick of falling for straight people. It never works out good. I am so happy Sb is gay friendly cause if it wasnt id switch schools. What can i say im a teenager. I have raging hormones.