http://www.facebook.com/VeteransAgainstOccupyWallStreet?ref=ts

Hehe, my brother and a few of his friends posted on this thing this guy said complaining about gay marriage, and in response they flipped out, and as my brother is currently in Scotland, studying abroad, they blocked the whole United Kingdom.

medicinals (n, plural) :
my reaching for the wounds,
only to find them quite gone.

mg (unit) :
in regards to medicinals,
too much is often too little.

Drowning in the truth of my own existence,
Like an ocean wave rolling in yet very distant.
Trying to put all the pieces of my life together,
Thoughts cascading like a wind driven feather,
Weary of eluding this life's emotional tyranny,
Unsettled by the endless political hypocrisies,
I retreat behind the walls of my own choosing, my thoughts, my dreams continue moving.
Like a strong wind filtering through the forest,
Cleansing the air and my mind of negative unrest,
I cannot change what cannot be changed, so true.

Earlier this week my Mom came home from New York City to be my Grandpa in his final days, and it's the first time I've seen her in since I was a little kid.

I was over at my grandparents when she arrived, and I was snuggling with my Grandpa on the couch listening to him talk about his days in Vietnam when she just walked into the room, I didn't even hear her pull into the driveway. It turned out she parked in the street, later on I found out why.

new poem: http://tycoondasher.deviantart.com/#/d5038vx

about the poem that, i nearly relapsed back into cutting for almost no reason too, thank god i didn't though, SO CLOSE too i could have completely failed too, i then remembered so many people's help like Inspired-Creativity on dA and Rainbow and Matt in reality were very helpful too, hell Oasis was awesome too.

the poem helped too, poetry helps alot with this.

on to a unrelated topic, i have got a perfect idea for my story, but you'll just have to wait for that.

The term "passing" is when someone is seen as the gender that they want to be read as, aka, they "pass" as a different gender. I don't like this word so much in this sense because then it seems like it's all a game, some sort of evil scheme--a deception or something of the sort.

Today was Brittany's last day of high school. She's gone. All year long I dreaded this day. I saw it as a deadline of sorts, the end of the road. If I didn't win her affections by this day then it would be over and done. I would never see her again. I could not have been any more wrong, as usual. I found her at her locker after finals and we just hung around for awhile. She told me how weird it felt to actually be leaving high school. And last night she finally joined my friends and I for our typical Monday night dinner. She'll be coming every Monday from now on.

I have been watching so much sex and the city at the moment.
just loads.
I simply can't get enough
I had a horrible sunday so in the evening i watched the first movie, and afterwards i felt so pleasant.
It's odd how some movies can completely change your feelings.
I sound like a thirty-something divorce women, but its still amazing.
I want to type a journal all Carrie Bradshaw like, but my laziness is stopping me.
Maybe tomorrow.

so fucking stressed. basically had 20 hour days of work with 3 hours of sleep each for three days already. student elections, tests, tests, moot, test, campaigning, campaigning, campaigning. No I didn't just get 3 hours of sleep by choice or because I am procrastinating. I am literally doing something for twenty hours until I actually physically can't sit/stand anymore. On my fourth cup of coffee at 3am studying for a test. Have to be up at six for campaigning. I am going to die.

I'm losing my mind. I'm on the verge of breaking down.

Howdy, friends. It’s been long enough I suppose between my last post and the one I make now for me to give an update on how I’ve been and what I’ve been up to. Mostly, there are only a few things to discuss so I expect it to be a rather short but sweet journal.

Lets Play a game :D, each one of the following is what i hate about alot of people, if you are for example "Anti-Choice" you earn 1 point if get 5 points from the following things i hate, i hate you Ready? GO!

- if you support forced child Circumcision (Male or Female) or forced Sex reconsignment (Male, Female or Intersex) or any form of genital cutting

- if you're Anti-Abortion/Anti-Choice/"Pro-life"

- if you don't support equality in any way shape or form (Sex, Gender, Sexuality, Racial etc)

I wanna be lazy and not write anything, but I feel like I should.

I've been feeling really discouraged recently in terms of understanding myself.

Today, I had therapy and I talked to my therapist about my gender identity and my sexual orientation and just the crazy spectrums, in general. Right now I'm not up for writing a real journal entry.

But I want to write about today at some point.

Remind me, please?

~Eli

Well, I haven't done much. This friday I was supposed to see a play in downtown with a group of classmates, I got them lost and we ended up going back to our town to eat burgers. We went through skid row, and for what? For nothing.

Went to school, though it's not enjoyable. I have to take some fucking ap tests on wednesday and I don't want to. I don't think I'll pass my stats test but I know I can do the english one. I ain't feeling good, whatever that means.

As I wrote in my last journal, my Grandma gave me my Mom's phone number with the urging to call her. With my phone fully charged I pushed her number several times, stopping before the last number a few times before I could bring myself actually do it.

Her phone rang seven times and then she answered.

Hi...Mom.

Sam!!!!! Hi!!!!

beeboop.

Dear future lover:

I have fallen once and I know now what I need. I have always known what I could give, though. I give everything. All of my emotions and passion in one direction. But I want to affect you like no one else has. I want to make you swoon when I smile at you. I want you to see your own reflection in my irises because in my head you're all I see. I am strong and supportive, but girls will always be my weakness. A subtle smile or a light brush of your hand could bend my tough exterior, for in the inside I am easily swayed. I am bendable.