I'm nervous. :( Tomorrow I am FINALLY going to take my permit test. I don't know if I'm ready. I intended to study a lot tonight but was distracted by video games. If I fail, then I'm gonna feel like a... well... failure! One of my friends has failed twice already. Eeek, I hope I am not like him... And then my rival got it on the first try without even studying!

and the groin of the face!

Anyway...
What job would you least like to have, and most like to have?

Hmmmmmmmm...
My mom has a degree in chemical engineering, and had a job with the government for a while. Something like that would be the job I'd most like to have.

And least favorite job?
Gynecologist. Definitely. If some of you don't know what that is, it's the vagina doctor. A doctor that specializes in women. Ewwwwwwww....

you can't defeat
these loving notions
humans defined
what is inside
and some don't believe
in these emotions
but some can conceive
of what many hide
love does exist
there is a reason
she can't leave
my running mind
and heaven is here
for us to find it
up and above
these proven signs
so when you can see
the light in darkness
or brightness that comes
from dulling rain
then you can believe
that I am honest
in sharing these thoughts
that I retain

what's the deal with "lesbians and softball"?
none of the girls at my school who are on softball
are lesbians...so why the stereotype? o.0

I am going camping with a bunch of girls... Not only the only guy/gay, but the only one for 3 DAYS!!!!!!! When I get home I'll let everyone know if I killed anyone...

I over analyze everything, I am moody and I am a sulker. I can run away from those three facts all I want, but they are true, and if I don't learn to control all three I am going to end up a very miserable lonely person. I have been over analyzing some things my friends have been doing, which has made me moody and in turn sulky the last few days.

Ughh it's just one of those days. I'm exhausted and I have a ton of work to do. I have to finish a chemistry open book test, which is hard because the book is not straightforward at all.

I have to write an elegy poem, study for an english essay midterm, and between now and Thursday I have to read the second half of A Tree grows In Brooklyn and do a book report project on it...When will I ever sleep?

I'm so like this girl like now:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j54yGxuk0yo&feature=fvst

OMG!!!!

So.. today ordinary day, 2 paper-tests an ordinary day in fact. At the end of the day I went into Katapi's classroom and I just shaked hands with him nothing more and said hi.

Now as we were talking he told me in spanish that he loves me from the deep of his soul xD.

Then he said that it was for his girlfriend but I felt good anyways haha.
Now I feel great and I'm still in shock , I really thought that he meant to be true .

You hear a song or watch a movie that brings up some of those memories that are best left forgotten?

I was listening to Your Biggest Fan and I Just Laugh by NeverShoutNever and they both reminded me of how shitty my relationships with girls have been.

It sucks kind of a lot. lol.

But anyway, I really really need to get my hair cut.

What I want is a haircut like Ellen Degeneres.

Alas, my mother thinks its a bad idea and tells me to wait until after high school. My hair would probably look really shitty short because it gets really curly.

shopping has never been fun for me...
ever.
especially with all the binary seperation in the clothing stores.
i usually go for the "boyfriend fit" anything, just because it's as masculine as i could go without switching sides of the store (which would give my mother a heart attack)

today, we went out for two things:
1. shoes.
2. a "Dressy" outfit pour moi.

i got neither.
1. the shoes were all frilly and second-grade-jonas-brother's-fangirl-y (if that makes sense)

Thank the gods for a self-destructive past at the time. It saved me from making the stupidest mistake of my life.

http://dahrjamailiraq.com/mass-casualties-the-dark-underbelly-of-occupat...

Know what you're getting into BEFORE you join. It's an outfit only suitable for psychopaths.

So... i sinned because i cut my hair this weekend. i wasnt supposed to ever cut my hair ever again. but i actually like it!! so im updating my pics on all of my online sites profiles. i thought this was going to be one of my emo weeks, but i can see its not!!!

So much reading.