im gay and i have been hideing it for a long time... irecently have told my sister and mother about it and i was gonna ask them for help... bc i dont want to be gay anymore- its un-christan like... anyway they fliped out...and i feel that i have let mother down... i feel that she has no trust for me anymore...i like women along with men...i dont want that!! ive found two things that help me get through this and theyare writing dow all my feelings and most importantly talking to god. if anyone has anything else that helped them plese tell me. imhurting and i cant do this on my own..

Happy Easter, for those who celebrate this day!

Today is a special day for me, no only because it's Easter Sunday, but it's also my one year anniversary of writing my first journal on here. So much has changed in the last year that it's hard for me to believe at times.

It feels so wrong not filling my voids with the touch of another man. It was always my first instinct. Replace pain, anguish with tactile sensation. The smooth skin of another man as he made love to me was so gratifying, so emptily yet perfectly satisfying. I miss the touch, I miss the adventure, I miss the excitement. But now all I'm left with is nicotine and fleeting satisfaction. I'm trying to find my way back to the higher road, but I can't help but feeling I belong on the lower path. Why do I desire such greatness, yet aspire to destroy my own prospects?

You know, girls loving girls makes so much more sense to me. I don't know why. It seems pure somehow. Holy or something. Corny right? But it's true.
I've been working on a poem. I don't usually do that--work on writing. But I'm putting together these phrases into a letter to Girl. Girl is the one I'm waiting for. Now I sound schizo, but oh well.
Is it weird that I kind of like boys but I also feel like a lesbian? There's something nice about the word when I say it out loud. "I'm a lesbian." I'm terribly confused.

i had a dream of ponies running up and down
your arms again, making new bruises
in the same places that you've
found them in the past
year.

(oh, all i can ask
is that you do
not go where
i can no
longer
follow)

http://youtu.be/ohYVsdSAhhs ☆=

So im 14 years old im a boy and i think i am a bisexual.I have more non sexual feelings for women and more sexual feelings for men. For example i would love nothing more than a big house and a wife and kids!But then i have these fantasies about men.ive never actually been in a relationship with a man because to be honest the thought knocks me sick but ive had a few relationships with girls but nothing serious at all.

I was real upset when I was writing my last journal, which I why I stopped midway through what I wanted to write. I'm a bit better now, but what I've gone through the last few weeks isn't something that just goes away I suppose?

When I went to see my grandparents the day after mom and I went back to Minnesota the cold hard reality of my grandfather's condition just hit me as had as the cold winter wind.

He had always been a healthy and active guy, and now he was this emaciated person who bore little resemblance to the man who used to take me fishing and play catch for hours on end.