PEOPLE!!!! It feels so go to be back...

Hip-hop is in a state of 911, so...

Everyday is just like any other day, people being as they are. Ignorant, stuck up, gossip, and making rumors that never happened and yet they just love to make other people feel bad. Yet, here I am, stuck and feeling sorry for myself in my dank bedroom painted in dark purple and white ceiling. Laying comfortably on my double bed, on sky blue sheets with gold stars and moons floating on the spread. My tiger faux print pillows and blanket, three other pillows lies uncovered from its slip, double sized black blanket covering myself, with beautiful patterns of faded white flowers. Sometimes the room can be like a boiler, as my own mother would state

God, the way he said the word dyke, I just wanted to shrivel up and die.

I feel like I'm burning up and my head is aching like it's about to split apart... getting sick, or just plain exhausted? Or maybe just a million thoughts fighting to escape and not finding any outlet.

I was reading Oasis blogs with her tonight, with my only friend that doesn't live far far away. The only person who knows I'm gay that doesn't live far far away. And one of the entries struck a chord with her: Heart-eating monsters, and "I guess now I know... I'll never be who you want, nor who you need..."

Fuck Labels.

JB

It's a beautiful thing to see one of your best friends shine. To see how they glow when they are in love.

my life is really awful. i don't even want to go into it, but i don't understand why everyone has to fuck with my heart. i just don't get it. and its always by the same people over and over again. sometimes i want to disappear...to fade away and see if anyone notices. but maybe someday i'll find someone who just loves me for me. maybe someday i'll love myself too.