Three things on my mind: my future with my girlfriend, my classes, and joints

*inspired by Brian and Michael from Queer as Folk :P

The sun dies in your irises as you lie in bed,
clutching a joint between your fingers and
savoring the memory of a fight on your lips.
Friend, you start the evening off like a burst
of color and light brighter than a carousel,
but towards the end of the rave, you're
already bored and empty so you turn
to hospitals and dramatic suicidal promises,
threatening to jump if I don't hold your hand.
Manipulating the seasons in Pittsburgh,
my friend, you drive me wild.
But somehow, I'm always playing this game.

Sleep.
Walk.
Dream.
Talk.
Eat.
Sleep.
Walk.
Kick.
Think.
Eat.
Take.
Mean.
Love.
Care.
Hate.
Share.
Eat.
Ate.
Ale.
Nord.
Loki.
Thor.
Child.
Sky.
Star.
HAL.
Jove.
Cloud.
Sky.
Sleep.
Dream.
Love.
Troll.
Jotunn.
Eat.
Ginsberg.
Sleep.
Fuck.
Talk.
Fuck.
Fae.
Fairy.
Puck.
Oberon.
Gaiman.
Eat.
Sleep.
Sleep.
Sleep.
Dream.
Moloch.
Howl.
Castle.
Fire.
Calcifer.
Lucifer.
Devil.
Dante.
Milton.
Paradise.
Lost.
Television.
Once.
Snow.
East.
Nine.
March.
French.
Canada.
South.
Cake.
Lie.
Chel.
Skyrim.
Game.
Waste.
Sleep.
Sleep.

My, My, Mister Moloch,
Take me in your arms.
Please make me a sick sinner-
Please, please, just you try.
My, My, Mister Moloch,
Hold me to your breast.
Bring me close, eat me up,
That's when I'll take you.
My, My, Mister Moloch,
How do you like that?
Stabbing you inside your throat;
Kill you in your gut.
My, My, Mister Moloch,
Didn't expect that
did you, bloated king of filth?
Guess I'll take my leave.
My, My, Mister Moloch,
bleeding on the ground.
How long's it been since Ginsberg?
Think he's smiling now?
My, My, Mister Moloch,
I'd love to stay and chat,

I'm back! I'm doing better than ever! I am still single but happy. I still talk to my ex, and we're friends now. I believe you can be friends with your ex. My life is back together. I love it. I'm hoping that the doctor let's me off my anti-depressants really soon! I'm on a sleeping pill because my body has a hard time falling asleep. I'm finally sleeping in my own room. I used to be scared of my room but I like it now. I have 4 new best friends. We hang out like all the time. This weekend is one of my friends birthday! I'm so excited. We're going to Universal Studios together.

that makes people hate the way I love that makes them want to get away from me.
they don't even know
the real story
because if they did

what is it about me
that makes the girls want to judge
their eyes don't lie

they are the ones that are afraid
afraid I might love them
afraid that if they felt the same way

what is it about them
that makes me think
that makes me sin

does god know
does he even know
he made me this way
he knows every inch
every pain
every dirty thought
yet he doesn't punish me

is the bible a lie?
is my love a lie?
I feel it like I feel the air