By Jeff Walsh
With his acoustic album "Motorcycle Childhood," Tyson Meade uses spare arrangement and raw vocals to share details of his life. It's very different from his other role as the openly gay lead singer of the Chainsaw Kittens, where he used to take to the stage in lipstick, tights and mini-skirts.
By Janis Ian
In a small town somewhere at the foot of the Appalachian Mountains, teachers prepare for the coming semester. Professors grimly consult lesson plans, breaking in new Dockers ("I still wear the same size I wore when I graduated," they brag, bellies hanging over their straining waistlines like blubber off Ahab's whaler). Dormitories are surrounded by troops of exterminators bent on eradicating last year's mess before the health department shows up for a final check. The grounds are infested with newly arrived victims, ready to give the university their all and terrified that anything beyond the boundaries of the parents' homes will eat them alive. If they only knew.
By Janis Ian
I am standing with my tit caught in a wringer while a mall-haired technician tells me to relax. I am thinking that if men had to put their testicles in a vise as part of a yearly physical, we would have a cure for the common cold by now. I am very frightened.
The pink slip came as we were leaving on vacation: "We have found what appears to be a routine abnormality..." What's routine about an abnormality? I decide to put on a brave front and joke that in all my life no one has ever called me routine; then I burst into tears. Later on I do the grown-up thing and panic, furtively examining my breasts in the mirror for changes. I'm afraid that if I touch them to check for lumps, I will set something off. I wish they were smaller. I wish they were removable. I wish they were on anyone but me.
Earlier this evening I started moaning to myself about missing Rick. I was reminded of all the great stuff in our relationship that I miss, and I would have given anything at that moment to simply hear his voice again.
Why is it that when I have the most free time, I get the least amount of work done?
In my dream something had happened, I don't know what maybe nothing, and I found myself outside a building on the campus of my sister's school (a long way from where I live). I was really sda and really worn from school to the point that when I saw her I just hugged her adn started crying. suddenlly my mom and grandmom were there as well and the building became some sort of mix between Urban Outfitters and Ikea. They were shopping for her and I was just standing around there trying to pull myself together. It was like when i would freak out as a little kid. I have no clue what this means.
Thats really the only good thing about snow. We got 30 bloody inches, plus whatevers left from previous storms. Most of the heaps are taller than I. Fun fun fun. Usually I just babble, and I have a lot to babble about, but-I just don't feel like it. Odd, very out of character. Oh well, toodles for now!
Is there a quick, natural, healthy, way to lose weight? I mean no excercise, no diet pills, no dieting, no liposuction, something natural! Let me know...I'm tired of running a mile everyday. I need the 8 pack and all the other good stuff....*nudge**nudge**wink*.
Fuck me.
Just when I am a superwoman of productivity, the whir of things getting ticked off on my to do list resounding in the ears of humanity, I get a pie in the face of Prime Minister proportions.
One long email to my thesis advisor, begging for insight, which was actually clarifying my thoughts on stuff, eaten my IE browser.
Bastard computer. ^@%$#^%@#
~hol
