Recently I have been lied to.

What can I do now since I quit classes? I could sleep in, shower, masturbate, draw, and make plans for my future magizine business. I could also clean house for mum, clean 2 bathrooms for Grandpa (i get paid for doing that). I could go for walks with my dog to loose weight, do some healthy eating.

Any other suggestions that I could do to keep me busy? Besides PORNS!!!!!

Yes I quit the college classes I took, since I became so fusterated. Not that its to easy, but it bores me and it makes me feel that nothing is doing anything to get me motivated. It stunk hell on ice.

Firstly.. i havent gone to sleep yet ... but there is a good reason for this.. as there always is.

Today i wrapped up a multi-million dollar project, which will be used by thousands of people... everyday .. in almost a dozen countries worldwide. I did all this by myself , and the system I have written is probably the system I am most proud of (since it is all my code, and it works.. well!).

Prom Rant is back!

I don't think I'll fully know until I've had a relationship with a girl.

And it seems like that will nnneeeevvvveeerrr happen at this rate!

blah. as petty as this may be, it's truly the source of much frustration.

as i step out of the car door i can feel the change already. I leave the un loving arms of my mother and walk into school full of people wh actually care. Have u ever felt like your friends care more than your parents? well thats how i feel everyday of my life. My parents can not even look me in the eye, let alone love me. The word gay makes them cringe, and i make them cringe. I love them so much but it is hard to stand in the shadows and watch them hate me.

I hate how stupid things make me jealous.
I hate how I thought I got over being jealous but I guess I lied.
I hate how I can't seem to find a still point, the world seems determined to move so fast I get lost in the vertigo.
I hate howI can't write good things.
I hate how I can't write like I used to, when it wasn't bitching-in-poetry.
I hate how much I hate.
I hate how everything I think is true contradicts the truth.