I lost my planner.

It's not at home. It's not at work. So far as I can tell, I left it somewhere in the stacks Thursday evening, after searching out the 1914 issue of Blast (vorticism was cool, man) and photocopying an article. This means it's lost. I am not about to search all 12 levels of the stacks for a single book-sized object. It probably got tossed out as it is.

I feel lost and twitchy without my omnipresent planner. I take it everywhere. It had all mes devoirs for the weekend clearly outlined in it. All my exams, quizzes and papers for the semester. My appointments, weekly and otherwise. Pertinent office hours. Special phone numbers. The weight room schedule.

So, supposing one is facing the reality that over the next year they will probably be out to most everyone, and one is what it is like to have random uptight relatives know...

In plain English:

Some of my aunts and uncles are really... wierd. And not in a supporting of diversity type way. They already don't really like me or my family, so I was just wondering if anyone who's out has a similar situation and what its like. I won't let this stand in my way of my coming out more, but it kind of bothers me. Mainly I think it will be really sad, since between them there are quite a few cute little cousins, if they decide that I'm some kind of a pervert and don't want me around my cousins. I don't see them often anyway, so I guess it wouldn't be such a big deal. But hey, this is what is on my mind right now.

I just Finished an MSN conversation with an old friend. We hung out from 1998-2000. The pinacle of my party and club daze. He moved away to Boston to work. I became lost in the scene. He was shy and quiet, staye dhome on weekends. I partied and thought it insane t stay home on a Saturday.

Time changes things. He is me and I am him. In five years, I have done and seen it all. I feel like I am 80. maybe in the twisted world of gay time.

After Oasis went down, I lost my little group of queer friends. Dealing with wild hormones with a bunch of heteros is not to be advised. But now, I can read others' blogs and know that I'm not alone any longer. My hormones can now be mollified.

Since breaking with Lauren I

For once, I actually DO something on Valentine's Day, and it turns into a less than stellar night! Now, it was still pretty damn good, but those that know me, know that less than stellar is about as low as I can go. I went to the mall with fun people, and we ended up going to a puzzle store, which made it extreemly pathetic. It was fun though. Then we went to my friend's band's show, and saw one REALLY good bandyperson, and got his CD, however, I had to leave before I got to see my friend's good band!
I had to leave, because I was supposed to go to a service project this morning, but it turned out that my friend's sketched out on me, and now I'm mildly screwd on when I can do my service, a graduation requirment. It was not good. I did listen to My Bloody Valentine, which cheered me up, in it's delicious irony! And now, I'm going to a formal dance at another school with no plans, with someone I don't know!

Prick ex-boyfriend's of my friends tempting my wrath...
Running into random people from school.
Reuniting with friends.
Cigarettes.
Dyke-drama.