The most important reason I consider myself a smoker is because I am definately not a non-smoker. What do you call a half smoker? A social smoker? That sounds lame. I make the deliberate choice to spend part of my income on a vice of my choice. I understand the health implications and chose this anyway. As for having the paraphenalia on me most of the time, I always had a lighter. (I didn't smoker but I could *clink clink* take care of the ladies that did). My purse, backpack, pocket will likely have a cigarette in it whether I smoke it that night or not.

I decided last night that sometimes I really am crazy. My mind just doesn't know what's going on, and I completely lose it.

my head hurts. i hate stress. i'm sorry i don't have anything more interesting to say

Little well known that its been a year and a half since my father had a stroke. Untill today he had this nasty chest cold and went to the hospital. Bronconist, not unusual to me since I had it as a kid. But the xray shows otherwise, he also has some abcess on his lung. They are sending it to a speicalist.

I remember writing oasismag about my fathers anarysm and had small partual of his brain removed and how it was a biggest scare for all of us. A year and a half later hes still smoking and they found unknown abonomonly in his chest. How dumb is that? Part of me dont feel sorry, and I feel wicked for it. Hes my father. *Sigh* Men never changes.

yeah, today i was lighting a cigarette with a match in my car and somehow i thought that fire doesn't burn. So two fingers on my left hand have little burns on them. This means i can maturbate only with my right hand. Life's a bitch.

So boobs suck. Well, not everyone's, just my boobs. So recently I have been thinking about a breast reduction, because life would be much easier with smaller boobs. I probably wont get one, because I pride myself in loving myself for who I am, and I want to learn to love my breasts in all their bigness. If they were so big that they caused me serious health problems then I would be much more likley to go through with it, but the're not.

I had the most fabulous weekend. I went to a Margaret Cho show, and oh-my-fuckin-gosh, it was hilarious. She's so...amazing...and admirable. They way she delivers her material is so fresh. In short, Margaret Cho is my hero. She was also an outspoken gay rights supporter, which didnd't really matter to the audience since she had such a huge queer following. It was liberating.

Well, it's getting warm, about 34�F (stupid Fahrenheit, we (the U.S.) should adopt Celsius as our temperature scale of choice). Which means some of the snow is melting. Yay! We got hella lot of snow this year. In February alone we got a record 21.7 inches (yet another scale to replace). Yeah, I know, it may not be a lot to you Northeasterners, but it's still a lot to us. All in all, this has been the 3rd snowiest winter in recorded Indiana history and we have yet to have one single snow day. Bah! I'm sick of it. But, depending on Tuesday's temperature, we are either going to get snow or rain. I'm voting for rain because I simply adore rain, although I wouldn't mind the snow if and only if it came bundled with a SnowDay�. Rain...mmmm, rain....