crying myself to sleep with a knife to my wrist. The smell of alcohol on my breath. This is how i am living, and i hate it. I just wish i could stop, stop all of it. I wish i had a handle on my life. But lest afce it i don't i can not control my self anymore. and today i began to slip back into to bad stuff, i have stopped eating again...i thought i was over that, but i guess i truely never will be.

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1) Why I just took the bisexual quiz, and it told me I was "Definitely not bisexual"... ummm, no. Wrong. Thank you for playing, please try again.

2) Why I woke up this morning and started worrying about having children, and explaining it to my mom...

poems.....

Trevor broke up with me, but I haven't cried or cut myself or anything. I think I realized I mixed up love and lust. I'm starting to think I will never find love.

Rachael still likes me and I really like her. But she hasn't asked me out again, and I'm kinda afraid to ask her out. She's one of my best friends and I don't want to lose that.

Joey hasn't said anything about going out, and he's acting like a jackass, so I say: fuck him and not literally.

*smirk...grimace* Does anyone know where the bathroom in this place is? Thanks.

Ah yes, I knew you would be frustrated. And I know I've been gone a HELLUVA long time. But don't worry, I haven't changed much, aside from a recent personality disorder I've developed. Yes. Anyhow, It's 4:30, I've been doing Public Policy problem sets for the last three hours, and I will certainly give you a much more adequate update sometime tomorrow. *MUAH* I love you all. And Lauren...*waves frantically* I'm right here!

Normal ramblings of a confused child with so much hope yet so little future................................................................don't click here..............blah blah blah........read on