I am back. I've been gone due to recent surgery and haven't been able reach a computer. But I am back! I was thinking the other day,(yes I know, run and hide)how family will betray family. How they will take dark secrets and use them against you.

Well, its been almost a full moon cycle since I have made a blog. NOt much is new really with me, work work and more work. talking to americans all day certainly tires me out. I think it would tire anyone out.

I have been gettn some signals from a cute boy who fancies me I guess, Could be an opertunity to boost my waining sex life, ever since the vanilla cop episode I have been longing (no pun intended) for some good hardcore action.

Oh wow, I can

Aarrgh... Here's the deal. I came home last Friday for spring break. I'll be leaving next Sunday. There's a very good chance that I'll be on the Standing Committee for Gay and Lesbian Student Needs next school year. If this happens, I'll be out to everyone at school. I want to be able to share with my mom the news I get over whether or not I get accepted for the committee, but to do that, I obviously have to come out to her. This isn't something that I want to keep having to hide. Before coming home, I decided that I was definitely going to come out to my mom while home.

I'm really just blogging for the sake of blogging. The infernal television stole my soul! Againe! I truely meant to DO

cough, choke, throw it up; purge the truth 'cause my stomach aint got that much room. watch it trickle down the steel bars of the street drain, down between autumn leaves blown away by autumn rain. empty is how i'd like to feel today becasue the leaves go straight from green to brown and i've been up so high now i know there's no place to go but down.
down.
and with every thought the sun's light wains and my perspective changes from meek to bleaker. i know there's others taking the same flight - fluttering- i feel them sometimes as nothing more than a constant shudder of the prayer of pain to a god of neccesity but, oh, sadness is all bravado. if you only know what i know. you see, my tears have entitled me to this; it is a badge of honor of which you couldn't possibly distinguish. becasue alone in the darkness is where i stand and maybe one of these days i will yell to be saved but what is depression without descretion; silence pleases satisfaction; my situation is unknown to all.