my heart was a street so dark, a small country road where drunk drivers drive too fast, where metal bodies collide with small animals. winter was an unbearable season. on the good days the ice was thick and the cars went right off the road, out of control ; on the worst of them the snow was so heavy to even see and people preferred to stay indoors.

Site appears to be back, but I never heard from adrian that he fixed it (which usually happens), so good chance it broke itself and then fixed itself, which means very likely it will break itself again...

Bass bass bass bass

I rock my head back and forth
headbanging feeling like a badass

bass bass bass bass
music tries to fill the abyss inside
but ive stayed up the whole night yearning
sun rise this pain can't hide
u look around searching for the boy of your dreams
I run around frantically
on hot pursuit to be in your crosshairs
transperancy is me aslong as the wear of those apartheid glasses
contemplating ways to seperate myself from the masses
the lord said that our bodies are temples

I really don't know know what to do.

I came out to her around last Christmas, and she doesn't... she doesn't talk to me about it at all and when I try to broach the subject with her it's all awkward. Lately it seems like she's trying to show more attention toward me like she's trying to show some kind of support, but it doesn't feel like she's accepting me. It feel's like she's trying to humor me and doesn't believe me.

Easter was going nicely for me. My mom's family gathered at my grandma's house for smoked ham and prayers, as we do every year, and my cousins and I were reconnecting after months of barely speaking. Not out of spite or any disagreements, but they're both...adults now. One's in college with a boyfriend, the other has a job and a girlfriend he plans to marry and I can't keep up. But the boyfriend and girlfriend weren't with us for once, so I had my cousins all to myself for the first time in awhile. So we hung out and it was nice.

Sam's Easter post made me start thinking a little more about my own struggles with weight, and I though I'd write a little bit about them.
When I tell people about my weight problems they think I'm just trying to get attention, or that I have a mental problem. But I'm not--I really do have a problem, it's real, and I have to find a way to fix it.

im gay and i have been hideing it for a long time... irecently have told my sister and mother about it and i was gonna ask them for help... bc i dont want to be gay anymore- its un-christan like... anyway they fliped out...and i feel that i have let mother down... i feel that she has no trust for me anymore...i like women along with men...i dont want that!! ive found two things that help me get through this and theyare writing dow all my feelings and most importantly talking to god. if anyone has anything else that helped them plese tell me. imhurting and i cant do this on my own..