So the plan is, I think im going to break up with Jake a few months after our one year. It's going to be so hard, because I love him so much, but I just I cant deal with this kind of stress anymore, this sexual stress!
Im in this sort of predicament you see. I want to have sex, but I want to have it with a virgin because I am a virgin. I have saved it from so many other men, and I dont want to loose it to my current boyfriend who threw his virgnity away in Bali and sold it for 30 dollars to an asian prositute. It honestly makes me sick. I think it's so unfair. He should have saved it for me. It would have been so much more meaningful than sleeping with some whore in Bali. We could have shared our first time together and because he decided to sell his to some hooker, he thus does not deserve my first time, despite how much I wish he did.
I dont want to see a future with him for that reason. But what if he is my one true love? What happens if I break up with him, have sex with a virgin and realize that his love was the one. I just wish he hadnt of slept with that hooker things would have been different. I just want to walk away without feeling anything. Life is BS.
This annoys me.