Man I'm getting old. I'm turning 21 next month. I can't believe it. I think I started writing here when I was 13? 14? Time really flies. High school seems like yesterday. I'm half way through college. I have a salaried job next year, I guess that day has come - it's almost underwhelming. I'm stepping into the real world and starting to see the nasty in it for yourself side of people. I'm starting to get too tired to party, I can hardly do two nights in a row. I am drinking at least three cups of coffee a day. I run around university and work and say "how are you-" without waiting for an answer. I'm always organising all these campaigns or events and I realise now I'm 'one of those people' who I 'recognise' around campus when I was younger. I'm confused by the concept of adulthood, there is no longer a line between me and 'authority'. In the past there was always your parents, your teachers or "adults" which you talked to in a different way. The other day - I saw on the mintues of meetings and they wrote "Mr. [name]" alongside all these other names of people twice the age as me; people actually take me seriously, not in the 'nice' way but in the actually don't you fuck up kind of way. How do I talk? How do I sound? Do I even sound different? I was organising a pretty big event on campus the other day and two members of parliament directly phoned me to discuss things and to be honest I was stunned. They asked "is this a good time to talk Mr. [name]". I said of course, and little did they know I'm just sitting in my bed in my underwear youtubing. I felt like so many things have changed. I am super stressed all the time and sometimes this is going to sound really depressing but I've almost forgotten how to relax and be happy. I'm not sad, I'm just tense all the time.