"I just don't think there's supposed to be a set amount of time you need to get over someone"
I love him so much. I can't even describe how I felt when I saw him. I hugged him so hard, unreciprocated, he gave me a gentle squeeze and pat as if he knew. One part of me wanted to tell him all - from-now-on-I-will-tell-you-all-I-will-treat-you-right, another restrains me from doing such a pointless and self destructive endeavour. For the first time in a long time I am feeling an overwhelming sense of hopelessness again. He reminded me of every fucking thing I hated about him, exactly why I loved him. I can't feel anything. Wondering what he thinks about me. I was so distraught so I left that hopeless place. Some really great (gay) friends told me to come out so I did, they really cheered me up; we went clubbing and we danced and danced and danced, ran down queen street screaming and dived in stranger's pools, and the five of us cuddled in the same bed until the morning and I forgot about him for a while. I woke up and felt apathy.