Most of my friends graduated last night. I may or may not have cried pathetically the entire drive home because I will probably only ever see the one I was closest to again. She was valedictorian and almost cried during her speech, so I almost cried too because I do that sometimes when my friends cry, but thankfully, no one cried.

We got to go see them all after the fact, just before they went on their little surprise trip thing. I couldn't even appreciate the fact that I got a hug from the hottest girl I know because the fact that almost all of my friends left is just way too upsetting! Although hugging her was indeed exactly how I had imagined it would be... Still, you KNOW I am majorly upset when I can't even enjoy hot girl hugs. After that, I saw my friend I mentioned earlier, the valedictorian one, and she hugged me and said we were definitely going to see each other again, and then I totally almost started bawling right then and there. Almost.

After that, I went out for dinner with a few of my other friends who are in my grade. We're sad because, like, 75% of our friends just left. Also, our waitress was a total dumbfuck, and although the food was decent, the service was so abysmal that I am never going back there again unless dragged by friends.

There may have possibly been more tears involved this year than last year, and that's really saying something because FCG left last year. These are my friends who made one of the worst school years I've ever had a little more bearable. I love them. At least it's my turn next.

You know, I've been rethinking moving this summer. If my mom decides to go ahead and move, I could always stay with my dad. I mean, yeah, I fucking hate it here. I hate my school. I have tons of emotional crap that I can't get rid of until I'm out of this town for good. But... I'm #3 in my class. Being #3 is very good, and I am not going to be #3 if I move somewhere with a class of 500 or so. I don't actually want to go to college where we're moving. I was just going to because it would have been easier. But then I thought of a few things. I didn't suffer through years of bullshit at my school and in my town just to settle, now did I? I have spent almost 18 years in some rural wasteland. 18 years is, like, almost a quarter of the average lifespan. I think after living here for so long, I deserve to go somewhere I want to go. I've missed out on so much by living here. My teenage years are almost over, yet I feel like I never even got to have a real adolescence... All of the hormones and none of the experiences!

I really don't ask for much at all, and I think if I get anything, it should be a chance to go away from here ASAP. After all, I know this guy who is a total douchebag, and he plans to go to school in either Boston or New York, places I would also absolutely love to end up in one way or another. If he gets to go somewhere amazing like one of those places, why shouldn't I at least try to go somewhere desirable? I have better stats than he does, anyway. His ACT is the same as mine, but he isn't even anywhere close to me in GPA or rank. You know, you probably wouldn't guess it from all the ranting I do, but like I said, I'm actually #3, and I have a 3.88 GPA and a 28 on my ACT, which I am retaking in June. I plan to get a 30 or above this time. I'm really going to prepare for the math section on this one since I'll have a couple of weeks during the summer.

There are other, less practical reasons I've been rethinking moving. I would hate not to have my wonderful English teacher again next year for AP English, and she seemed so sad to hear that I might move. She's awesome and probably the best teacher I have ever had. Also, my friend group at school is now completely tiny. If I left, there would literally be, like, three people! I would never actually decide against moving solely for these reasons, though... I hate it here too much. But then I think, I've lived here 17 years, what's ONE more?

Anyway, in other news, I'm really tired of people mistaking my best friend and me for each other. It happens pretty much every single day. I don't think we look anything alike at all except for our hair. I am shorter than she is, our faces aren't anything alike, our body types are different... We can't understand why everyone gets us mixed up. I need to trim my hair soon, as I'm starting to get split ends... Maybe when I trim it, I can dye it. Maybe I'll start straightening it or something. We wouldn't have this problem at all if there weren't those ugly uniforms. She wears dark colors while I prefer bright colors except for my beloved South Park t-shirt, which I am wearing right this very moment.

In closing, since you listened to all of my whatever the hell that was, here is a song for you to enjoy:

You're welcome. The Little Mermaid version is also pretty fantastic.