okay so where do I start :D

So first off : Yeah I've been fukkin' inactive as all shitface. I get on like once or twice, read the journals up, and then leave. So sorry D:

I love you all though~

My recent bout of crap mood has floated away, so hooray! I think I was just really feeling lonely, and like nobody wanted to hang out. And then I went on an orchestra trip and got to spend lots of time with my friends and boyfriend and then I came back just feeling great.

I think I just needed an outlet.

Anyways- Me and Boyfriend had been arguing a looot the last week. Like really badly. So badly I thought we were gonna break up...

And then, miraculously, things just. Fixed themselves.

We hung out this friday and I thought it was the best hang out day we've had to date. We had smexytimes, lots of cuddlemovie time, cooking times, and we played outside for a lot of the day :')

We did tons of wrestling, so the next morning and such, I woke up reallly sore.

But it was really fun, and I feel like we're really close and stuff. We got into spit competitions X'D

And then today I hung out with some of my dude friends and had a GREAT day, and came back, and had a miniature breakdown because of the parents, and Boyfriend took care of me really well... :') usually his biggest problem is that he can't handle me being upset, it's really difficult for him sometimes, and that's why we argued so hard. So for him to be there and take care of me was an amazing, wonderful suprise...

The kid and I just got somethin' different, I tell you what.

So boring updates, Boyfriend is going to France with the show band in a couple weeks and I've got to try to teach him to speak a little French X'D It'll be adorable...

Uhm... I don't really know what else to say.

Like I went and saw the movie The Grey with my friends today, and it was extremely heart-wrenching and raw in my opinion. Movies like that make me realize my mortality; just kinda punches you in the uterus repeatedly.

Like in my opinion, people nowadays that DON'T have to worry about being killed by nature or starving or freezing to death make up problems so they feel like they're ~surviving~, too. I don't think if we all lived in tribes trying to fight our existence out that we'd worry about gender or gender roles or rape culture or whatever else the fuck people whine about on Tumblr and the like.

Like in my humble opinion, I could care less if someone's misgendering me with some weird pronouns if I'm at risk of getting my tits ripped off by bears......

I think people take life for granted, thinking that it's some playground where everyone should play niiiiiiiice and that everyone has the right to feel safe etc.

At least, that's the petty shit been driven into our brains, yeah?

But in reality, nobody has to do a damn thing according to what you say, or what's right. Our "rights" are just false accusations of what society thinks. Hell I can go murder everyone I know. That's my right as a living thing. But I have to accept the consequences.

We're animals, eking out our dumb existence in this world. And I guess if you feel the need to complain about how it's run or working instead of just changing whatever you can or sucking it up (because there is HONESTLY much worse), then more power to you, but if we get stuck in an Alaskan plane crash, you can bet you're the first one I'll let the wolves take. And then I'll eat your boobs. You didn't want them, anyways, eh?

Wow. Okay. journal done. Night guys!