*Yuk he lost his virgnity to a hooker. Gonna be a long post. *sigh* thoughts please anyone? need advice..

3 February, 2012 - 3:31pm — DarkestValley

And just when I wasnt disgusted enough. His only time he had sex and his first time was with a hooker and this disturbes me.
I dont know why it bothers me so much because a) i dont believe in sex before marriage and b) my ex had sex before and that never disgusted me in this way.
I'm turning into a completely different person.
I'm making him think i was a slut, not telling him but implying that I was one, when I actually havent had sex before. Like when I gave him my first BJ, and he said is this your first one and i said no..
Why?
Because to make it 'even' i guess, to make him think that he's not the only one that has touched me so he doesn't feel special and that he's nothing that i havent seen before...

I like him, I dont respect him, I trust him.

But I also dont want to stop seeing him, he's like my escape from my reality, and I like him.

I want him to ask me out, so I can say no. But I want him to change, then maybe I would say yes.

Idk..

Please any advice? I dont know what to do...

Tags:

Comments

3 February, 2012 - 7:15pm — MacAvity

Well...

This sounds like a pretty obviously unhealthy relationship. Get out now. Don't give any more of yourself or your time to someone you don't respect - you'll regret it soon.

2 May, 2012 - 4:32am — DarkestValley

god damn it haha if only id

god damn it haha if only id listened to this advice!

3 February, 2012 - 9:06pm — Just Dave

I feel like all I do is repeat what MacAvity says...

But honestly, I think you need to end it. It sounds like things have just been confusing and distressing so far, and it might be nice to start over somewhere else.

3 February, 2012 - 10:42pm — Dracofangxxx

I think you need to figure out your own flaws...

and work on them, especially before trying to accept anyone else's.
-
That's redick!

6 February, 2012 - 3:15am — angel syndrome

You sound like someone who

You sound like someone who needs to empower themselves, there are other ways to do this than through manipulation.

I can relate to all of this, though. You're a saint but you want to be the devil, you want to torment him because, really, he torments you, and you want payback. You want him to think he's nothing special because he, in your opinion, thinks you're nothing special.

I've been through all this, being this whole "innocent-virgin-turned-nympho" and honestly, it's not that great. The guy's not good for you. You expect *him* to work on himself yet you want him to think you're a whore? You want him to change, motivate him by letting him know you're someone special, rather than giving him the impression you're common. Plus, he's been honest about himself, and you've been dishonest, yet you expect *him* to change?

If you just don't want to be alone, or want an escape, that's not fair to him and it's not fair to you. Just end it or be honest with this guy, end of story.