Got my license. Things have been great the past week. I feel great. I've been doing great. The past couple days I've felt really normal and myself. I wasn't sure if I would still be myself or if I would just develop into a new person. I think it will be both, though. I'm still pretty much a dork.
I'm always afraid of feeling too great because of the crash.
I've crashed a couple times.
Each consequent crash is significantly less than the last. The last time I got drunk I got most of it out. Been on a good streak. Fell a little tonight. Only a little. But god, I can barely move my arm.
I have no feeling left really for her. It's just sad thinking about past things. Not super sad, but still a little sad. Kinda sucks.
I really don't feel anything for her. It is a strange thing.
I'm kind of mad at her for being so chill about the whole thing. She doesn't even care. I'm learning to not care about that. But tonight that's what it was about. Tonight I lost it a little because of me caring. But like I said, each consequent time it's less. This time was barely anything. The next time (if there is a next time) it will be nothing. Every day I am consistently feeling great. I'm becoming a better person.
But God, I can barely move my arm. I really did myself in.
It beats getting shit drunk at your best friend's house though. It beats crying yourself to sleep. I may have fell a little tonight, but I'm not going to sleep crying. I can't even remember the last time I did that. I don't really cry anymore.
Work, sleep, repeat! I'm making money. I'm succeeding.