okay so I'll keep it simple : I've actually, for the first time in years, been really depressed these last couple weeks and I HATE that word because it implies that I'm sad, or suffering, or something, when in reality I'M JUST SO FREAKING BLAND
like I don't feel ANYTHING, really, just not happy and not sad
and I don't want to do anything at all but lie around and BLARG
my best analogy for it is that I feel like a car, one of those ugly beater cars, that ran out of gas on the highway so someone decided to get out and squirt some steaming diarrhea into the gas can and call it good.
I AM the diarrhea car. Bllblblblb
so expect me to be gone for awhile k
I kinda REALLY want to get high for like the first time in my life (like usually I don't care one way or the other) but I just wanna FEEL something for once... so I should probably steal all of mom's weed right
actually you know if I did she'd probably notice and get really mad at me, as ironic and hilarious that is.
Sometimes I think if she was nicer and liked me more, as soon as she knew I knew she grew and smoked it, she woulda like sat me down and got high with me or something to show me the truth about weed and make sure I take it responsibly like adults do with booze.
I think that woulda been cool but idk.
okay yeah so I'll be gone for a while peace