guys

26 February, 2012 - 10:03am — Dracofangxxx

okay so I'll keep it simple : I've actually, for the first time in years, been really depressed these last couple weeks and I HATE that word because it implies that I'm sad, or suffering, or something, when in reality I'M JUST SO FREAKING BLAND

like I don't feel ANYTHING, really, just not happy and not sad

and I don't want to do anything at all but lie around and BLARG

my best analogy for it is that I feel like a car, one of those ugly beater cars, that ran out of gas on the highway so someone decided to get out and squirt some steaming diarrhea into the gas can and call it good.

I AM the diarrhea car. Bllblblblb

so expect me to be gone for awhile k

I kinda REALLY want to get high for like the first time in my life (like usually I don't care one way or the other) but I just wanna FEEL something for once... so I should probably steal all of mom's weed right

right

actually you know if I did she'd probably notice and get really mad at me, as ironic and hilarious that is.

Sometimes I think if she was nicer and liked me more, as soon as she knew I knew she grew and smoked it, she woulda like sat me down and got high with me or something to show me the truth about weed and make sure I take it responsibly like adults do with booze.

I think that woulda been cool but idk.

okay yeah so I'll be gone for a while peace

Tags:

Dracofangxxx's journal

Comments

26 February, 2012 - 10:38am — hellonwheels

Bleh...

I have been feeling that way for awhile...that's why I went to a rave tongiht/ friends bday party. as much fun as it was (not into raves or dubstep), It also made me feel hella outta palce/ lonely. lol.

Mental wounds not healing, driving me insane, i'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train- the ozzman

26 February, 2012 - 4:42pm — Meow

I feel your BLARG.

Another word to describe: Meh.
Haha. I know what you're talking about. Although, don't do something you will regret just to feel something. I did that quite a few times and wholly regret it!
As an alternative to weed, how about some really awesome music? Like, the type that makes you want to jump. Or maybe you scream your lungs out. That helps too. (If you have a place where people can't hear you :))

I know bland is bad, but suffering and sadness is worse. So, if you can, don't end up replacing bland with that, just to feel something!

26 February, 2012 - 5:57pm — jeff

Maybe...

You need to broaden your definition of depressed?

---
"You can judge the whole world on the sparkle that you think it lacks" - Dawes, When My Time Comes (http://youtu.be/Z0FrcTX6hWI)

26 February, 2012 - 11:13pm — Dracofangxxx

It's not my definition ;)

but just in general if you tell someone you're feeling depressed, they'll be like OH YOU POOR BABY TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG AND GOING ON IN YOUR LIFE IT'LL BE OKAY SHH <3
and I'm like

girl I'm fine I just don't wanna do jack shit
-
That's redick!

26 February, 2012 - 6:54pm — Lehcure

:( ..just a suggestion, but

:(
..just a suggestion, but maybe get a new awesome hobby? Hang out with different people? Go splunking, scuba diving, sky diving, skiing...get that heart pumping! :)
Whatever you decide, feel better soon!

26 February, 2012 - 6:58pm — stillgotlegs

Now don't get me wrong, I

Now don't get me wrong, I smoke weed on occasion.

But trust me when I say that it probably wont make you feel that much better, it's not that kind of a drug. After your first time you'll probably think that it has absolutely no effect on you. What I'm saying is that while weed is great and less damaging than a night of alcohol, don't get your hopes up too much. It's much more subtle.
---
“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?”

26 February, 2012 - 8:13pm — lonewolf678

Hmm,

Maybe a nice walk in the park, or just phoning a friend, or a good read maybe a better solution than smoking a plant.

26 February, 2012 - 8:17pm — angel syndrome

Listen to old music and

Listen to old music and dance around in your room (-:

26 February, 2012 - 11:19pm — Dracofangxxx

Just to reply to all of you in one big comment :P

I know ways to keep myself happy, and I will get there, but right now I'm just kinda stuck. I've been excersizing a bit more and that helps, but I think a lot of it is I want it to be Show Band season again because this is like, WA's almost-spring-but-wait-it's-still-raining season, where like it'll get really beautiful and sunny and then dump rain again for a month.

So I really just WANT to do stuff but I can't so I'm lazy and bored.

ANYWAYS GUYS smoking a plant is just a way of wanting to experience new things. Is it such a big deal?
All y'all should calm down :P

I would prefer it to getting smashed on booze errday which is what I used to do last time I was depressed, and that was no good. As I said, I just WANT to, not that I can or will.

I don't even have the ability to really get any, nor the money. It was just a thought.

I don't have the ability to go out and do much since I can't drive, and I have boring parents. SO really all I have is what's goin' on in my house. Which sucks.

But thanks for all the suggestions and being nice, guys :]
-
That's redick

27 February, 2012 - 2:52am — radiosilence95

Perhaps going outside and

Perhaps going outside and taking a walk would do you some good? Or get on a bike. One does not need a car to travel :P

27 February, 2012 - 4:23am — Dracofangxxx

That's a good idea!

But remember my mom's like LOL NOPE RAPISTS

SO FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Maybe I'll just do it anyways :P
-
That's redick!