well i guess this is growing up

Been ok for a bit. Came home. Not so good.
My arm hurts.
Headfirst for halos.
Makes me crazy, feels good. Enough of this calming shit.
Sometimes I need to freak out.
Sometimes I wish I could hate her.
I wouldn't have to feel anything. I don't want to feel anything. She doesn't feel anything she doesn't care.
I just want to stop caring.
I want to stop caring.
She is nothing.
I am nothing.
I don't think about her a lot. But when I do I can still feel it.
She still makes me melt. Why? I have felt my attraction to her waning. But I saw a picture of her today. On facebook. And it still made me melt.
I don't want to melt. I don't want to feel it.
I don't want to feel it.
Starting to wish I never loved. What good is it? What has it done? Nothing. It's nothing. I don't need it. It is nothing.
She is actually nothing but there is still a stupid feeling that exists.
I'm in control.
My arm hurts.

Headfirst for halos.

Yeah!

Well let’s go back to the middle of the day that starts it all
I can’t begin to let you know just what I’m feeling
And now the red ones make me fly
And the blue ones help me fall
And I think I’ll blow my brains against the ceiling
And as the fragments of my skull begin to fall
Fall on your tongue like pixie dust just think happy thoughts

And we’ll fly home
We’ll fly home
You and I
We’ll fly home

Come on!

Well now I’m back in the middle of the day that starts it all.
I can’t begin to let you know just what I’m feeling.
And now these red ones make me fly,
And the blue ones help me fall.
And I think I’ll blow my brains against the ceiling.

And we’ll fly home,
You and I,
We’ll fly home.

Now honestly that’s what I said to her, what I said to her

Think happy thoughts
Think happy thoughts
Think happy thoughts
Think happy thoughts
Think happy thoughts
Think happy thoughts
Think happy thoughts
Think happy thoughts