I will always be the better person.
I will always feel justified in my feelings and reasons. Apologize when I know I am wrong. To her. There was a time long ago i told myself to let go of my pride so we can resolve things when needed. So that I can love like people should love. That is why I can't stay mad at her really. I can't go to sleep mad feeling like something is unfinished.
I will always be better. In a way, I'm just a selfish bastard. I do it to free my own guilt. And so she knows I feel better/ok. So she knows. I think deep down it irks her if she knows I apologize and cease being frustrated. Because I can let it go. I know it must be annoying. So there is a part of me that knows that by trying to make peace I am just irking her a little bit more, unless she's feeling less hot headed too. Then we can both be rational people and resolve things. She is hard headed sometimes but one thing I always loved about her was that she didn't act like a stupid emotional girl and refuse to try and resolve things when I tried to. I think she wasn't able to sleep either. She doesn't really care about that anymore, but she is still able to resolve things with me. At least she cares that much.
I will always be better.
Going to sleep feeling like the better person is always a plus.
I care about her. I think I wish I didn't, because why should I? Why should I even bother.