Confiding in a Religious Leader?

9 January, 2012 - 3:05am — centerfielder08

I'm thinking of confiding in the religious leader near where I live.

I'm going to talk to him about everythng that's going on. As of a few weeks ago, he didn't really know me, at all, really. But that's changed since the trip and stuff.

He knows my name. I've even sat with him and his wife a few times while we were away. They were (and still are) very sweet people and seem very open.

I asked his wife about talking to him and she said that yes, congregants are allowed to confide in him and many do. And that its completely confidential (of course, to a certain extent--safety boundaries still exist, which is GOOD).

He's not available to meet for a bit over a month because he's busy and stuff. But I may talk to him when he gets back. Do I email him to ask ahead of time how it works?
Do I wait?
Is this even make sense to talk to him?

Advice would be nice.

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Centerfielder08's journal

Comments

9 January, 2012 - 3:19am — ferrets

welll...

what is the goal you wish to accomplish by talking to him, for starters?

"A loving man and woman in a committed relationship can marry. Dogs, no matter what their relationship, are not allowed to marry. How should society treat gays and lesbians in committed relationships? As dogs or as humans?"

9 January, 2012 - 3:48am — centerfielder08

To be honest, I don't really

To be honest, I don't really know, exactly. I think its just the spiritual idea of confiding in him? I don't know...

To be honest, I sort of want to tell his wife but I feel as though I'd get in a ton of trouble for doing that.

9 January, 2012 - 4:06am — ferrets

like...

a catholic confession?
and why do you think it would be bad to tell his wife about your situation?

9 January, 2012 - 5:26am — centerfielder08

Well, I'm not Catholic. But

Well, I'm not Catholic. But it'd be like me making an appointment with his secretary to go into his office one day and have some time to talk.

Because at least with him it makes sense because he's the rabbi. But with her...I don't know if it'd be weird because, unlike him, she doesn't really have a title that would make sense for me to say stuff like I want to say. I want to tell her because she's approachable and then I won't have to wait until her husband gets back.

Am I a freak?

9 January, 2012 - 7:19am — Yamamoto

No you are just fine center

No you are just fine center you are just confiding in a human buddy. I mean they are nothing special :) I am sure you will feel quite better after doing so... please don't think of yourself as a freak buddy :D

9 January, 2012 - 12:04pm — elph

Talking with a professional...

..whose qualifications suggest that he/she could provide you with the guidance leading to a greater satisfaction with life is always advisable.

My question, however, is why would you choose to confide in a religious leader over a professional whose training lies more specifically with helping those who are experiencing an unease similar to what you're experiencing?

9 January, 2012 - 3:29pm — centerfielder08

I hear that religious

I hear that religious leaders have to go through some counseling training? That's the only reason I thought of it. Or thats the main reason, anyway.

9 January, 2012 - 3:52pm — elph

May be true...

But, their primary obligation is not to you as a living person... but to your soul and to a deity not of this earth.

However... I think it would be a good idea to schedule an appointment, and judge for yourself!

9 January, 2012 - 8:10pm — lonewolf678

Well Eli,

if nothing else works then try this (but only if you really want to).

9 January, 2012 - 10:31pm — socialist

That's how people get raped, guy.

I wouldn't.

9 January, 2012 - 10:43pm — elph

Responding to...

...whom?

10 January, 2012 - 12:19am — socialist

The journal.

10 January, 2012 - 1:04am — centerfielder08

what do you mean...i mean

what do you mean...i mean whats rape have to do with this?

10 January, 2012 - 11:32pm — socialist

A lot of people who confide in religious leaders end up getting

raped by them.

10 January, 2012 - 11:58pm — elph

Yeah...

...I'm pondering this assertion...

Why do you think this is?

11 January, 2012 - 2:14am — centerfielder08

I don't want to assume

I don't want to assume things. So I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and say you said this stuff with no malicious intent.

But please, that's a very unnecessary and triggering comment. I would think, and hope, that others would understand this when I say that I know I am overly-sensitive. But writing about how my situation could lead to me getting raped is really not okay.

I've had a history of threats and some other stuff that I do not want to put into detail at the moment. So please, next time, don't say that. It can really mess things up for someone...

(by the way, I think for the most part, when this happens its with young boys in religious buildings that are super religiously-affiliated. Yes, I identify as a boy, but I don't do that really openly. And our stance on religion, everyone in that building, is so much more open-minded and stuff, so its not the same as those feeling locked into doing whatever their religion tells them to do and then wanting to act out against that.)