Wondering, Socialize, Thinks About A Crush (again)

2 December, 2011 - 5:51am — socialist

I just thought about something: People leave Oasis. Why? Where do they go? They just decide to stop?

My life:

I used to sit alone during lunch because I didn't really directly know anyone there (the ones I did know sat by jerks). However, people at the next table started talking to me and one of them asked me if I'm gay and that he heard that I'm gay. He was distracted by somebody else judging him for confronting me about my sexual orientation until I was saved by the bell. Anyway, I moved to the other side of the lunch room, which I found out is much more fun. There are tons friends of friends, one of whom hates me for no reason, who I am socializing with. I've rediscovered the social part of my personality that went missing last summer.

Status on Brad:

Again, I don't think he likes me. He acts very normal around me. He does seem to really enjoy my company, though, so there is still hope. :D I would cry if he turns out to be straight. I would be so lonely. (if there were an emoticon for the forever alone face, I would put it here)

I sat next to him for about 2:15:00 today. It wasn't enough time! I felt horrible in the period after my last one with him. I want him to be in every one of my classes. I love seeing him smile.

Tags:

Socialist's journal

Comments

2 December, 2011 - 9:53am — Just Dave

Not sure

My experience is limited, but I'd say that the majority of Oasis users have long periods of time where they don't use the site. There are a few exceptions, but most people tend to come and go.

As to why people leave permanently, I can't say for sure. I suspect most people stop using Oasis when they stop needing it; ie. when they're completely out and have other people to talk to about their glbt issues.

2 December, 2011 - 2:37pm — elph

Purge those thoughts!

I cringe when you say, "I don't think he likes me."

Almost certainly he doesn't dislike you. You've provided ample examples to establish this as fact!

Even if it does turn out that he's not gay... how terrible would this really be? He'd continue to remain a close friend with whom you can look forward to sharing many memorable events!

But... he may be gay! Just give it some space... and take the time to discreetly start sharing your secrets.

When no one else is around... does he behave differently? Holding hands possible?

As you pine over Brad... there can be no doubt that there are surely other boys who view you similarly... (If you even come close to resembling your avatar!)

3 December, 2011 - 12:15am — socialist

"When no one else is around...

does he behave differently? Holding hands possible?"
Unfortunately, there is always someone around. I'm never alone with anybody. I really want to be alone with Brad, but the school is always crowded everywhere and if I ask him to go somewhere alone with me, it would be weird because I've never even been alone with my best friend and I don't think either of us has time because our classes give us a lot of homework.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-iNEbrrG7SM

3 December, 2011 - 12:53am — elph

There's got to be...

some interests that you both share: music, plays, movies, games, nature, food, a Christmas pageant...

Go up to Brad, "You know... I really want to go to this xxxx, but I just hate going alone. I know that we don't know each other very well... but... is there any chance that we could go together?"

Such an approach will also let Brad know (indirectly) that you value him as a friend... but without revealing all of your feelings for him.

Just an idea... but you really need to learn the art of subterfuge!

2 December, 2011 - 6:19pm — Perhaps We Shou...

Hmm

Anti-social socialist. I find that amusing.

If he 'just isn't that into you', what will you do? Would you really waste your tears or would you do what you ought and simply look elsewhere? That is the question. After all, there must be people out there that find you attractive! But more importantly, until you learn that he really isn't into you, keep pursuing! The joy, my friend, is in the hunt!

* * *
The father now gallops, with terror half wild,
He holds in his arms the shuddering child;
He reaches his farmstead with toil and dread,—
The child in his arms lies motionless, dead.

16 December, 2011 - 3:01pm — RainbowTime

i remember when i was

i remember when i was younger about 12/13 had the first proper crush on Ashley and thinking she did not like me and i would be alone if she turned out straight she did turn out straight i was sad for a while learned this things happen

but ill say something i said to Jenna to you "someones a little lovestruck"

i only drink irn bru and the occassional blood of my enemies