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MHU #5

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21 December, 2011 - 12:34am — centerfielder08

So anxious.
Feeling cold and clammy.
I haven't eaten in seven hours really. And I'm terribly hungry but I'm also feeling sick to my stomach. This is expected, though, I guess.

Cleaning an unbelievable amount. Partly because I have to but it also helps me feel better about this whole thing. It makes me at least somewhat more confident in myself.

Not thinking the same as usual, still quite a lot, though. Feeling a ton. Emotions scare me. I don't know which emotion is the worst. But I think they're all pretty terrible.

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21 December, 2011 - 5:41am — Lehcure
Lehcure's picture

Cleaning is a wonderfully

Cleaning is a wonderfully productive way to feel in control of something (as long as it doesn't become an obsession to where it's maladaptive). Try eating some lettuce or something...goodness, I feel anxious, irritable, sick to my stomach, and think strangely when I haven't eaten in 7 hours, too! I believe healthy nutrition is a big part of feeling good and properly functioning.

21 December, 2011 - 6:35am — centerfielder08
centerfielder08's picture

Yes. Its not one of my

Yes. Its not one of my compulsions, so its okay for me to do, as long as I don't go overboard with it.

And it wasn't really on purpose. I mean it wasn't intentional.
Though, I am trying to lose weight.

Yes, food and sleep are important for functioning. I need to remind myself of this often. Because I often don't listen to this when I say it to myself.

21 December, 2011 - 5:37pm — socialist
socialist's picture

I was listening to the perfect song while reading this.


It made this journal seem so creepy.