I liked him first,
but that doesn't matter.

I still like him,
but that doesn't matter, either.

I pretended to myself that it was okay,
but that doesn't matter anymore.

Nothing matters and everything feels wrong, as though I've been amputated. Like I still feel that phantom limb but there's a huge void and it eats me whole and I am lonely and alone.

He hurt me,
but that doesn't matter.

I hurt him too,
but that doesn't matter either.

I was just too fucked up and lost and he didn't care anymore.
The word always is just a fucking lie.
But that doesn't matter anymore.