I Don't Post Much
Yeah...i really don't post nearly as much as i read. Kinda feel like a stalker sometimes, checking on other people's posts when i can and possibly putting in my two cents if i'm passionate enough on the subject or if it's someone new i welcome them with an open mind for rest and open arms for comfort, but in truth, i'm not too active here on Oasis.
I've made a couple friends on here i suppose, not too many, but enough to keep me busy when i'm tired of working or i need to bounce some new comedy material off of someone. Which, by the way, is the best thing i could have possibly done.
I was supposed to do that benefit for the awareness rally but they said i was too young. I guess seventeen is just below the legal age of performing at that specific function. It's at a college! I figured it would be fine but since i had to show them I.D. to get in they discovered that i am below legal age and told me i wasn't allowed to be an audience member there for it wouldn't be decent of them to let me be an actual part of the program. Pretty ridiculous if you ask me.
Anyway, i'm looking for new places to perform. Hopefully at a bar that's NOT renown for excessive bouncer activity. I've worked those crowds before, even if they do watch, they're pretty much just waiting for me to end my act and to announce the band (usually with a weird name like "Black Dragons" or "Skull Fuckers". No lie, those are two bands i have personally introduced onto the stage) to come up and rock the place.
*SUBJECT CHANGE*
I read these journals a lot like i said, and most the time i feel kind of related to the topics. Some of these topics are very controversial, which always makes me excited to be around an intellectual type. Makes me feel less alone. (Many thanks to swimmerguy, you are an inspiration.)
Other journals bring up the idea of dating. I personally have decided to wait til at least college before i get into anything serious. I refuse to have sex either. If you've read one of my few journals before it is known to you by now that i am born and raised to believe only to give your love to the one who gives it back without hesitation or question. Therefor, i will only date ONE guy at a time. And i will NOT kiss, touch, or even playfully flirt with another unless i become single again. Just the way i am. Nothing against those who disagree, but still, just the way i am.
If anyone reads this i'd appreciate it if he or she would give me a bit of advice on how exactly to aproach someone when i DO want to date.
I'm usually just all blunt but kind...like:
Me: Hey, i saw you from across the room. I couldn't help but notice that you are smiling, and that smile just seems to knock off my feet so i was wondering if i could have the honor of making you smile more often. Wanna go see a movie sometime? Or i know this nice coffee shop where i used to perform out on Main Street if you're in the mood for that.
Guy:...who the fuck are you?
And that's how my love life works.
Any suggestions?
Thanks for Reading,
Jack
If you are not getting confirmation e-mails from Oasis to complete your membership, don't hesitate to e-mail jeff at oasismag dot com. Be sure to include your username.
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Comments
Dating advice
Maybe do what you've doing, but not so intense, so fast.
Leave out the bit about the smile for now and just ask them out for coffee? At least it doesn't appear your problem is approaching people.
Wow.
I kind of wish someone would ask me on a date like that. Sure, maybe it's kind of strong for a first approach, but at least there'd be no confusion, and the words you used are so sweet..... I'd say yes.
That's The Idea
I never was very good at being shy, just not my thing. That's why i go for an honest, to the point, and upfront approach.
Now i'm thinking maybe i SHOULD be a bit more subtle, but then i think that if i introduce myself as someone who's NOT honest and up-front...then they won't know what i'm really like!
I guess i shouldn't worry about it because unless someone gives me a good reason to, i'm not dating for a while. But still...might give me something to practice in the mirror.
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An optimist sees the glass half full, and a pessimist sees the glass half empty. But a realist however, realizes that sooner or later he's going to eventually have to clean the glass.
Well, being more subtle
Well, being more subtle might mean things are less awkward if they say no. But I think overall it probably won't affect their answer.
I've tried both the upfront approach and subtle approach in the past... Uh yeah, I would say there really isn't a correlation with the final outcome.
Yup...
The final outcome was the same in both cases: they ended up sleeping with Max.
http://instantrimshot.com/index.php?sound=rimshot&play=true
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"You can judge the whole world on the sparkle that you think it lacks" - Dawes, When My Time Comes (http://youtu.be/Z0FrcTX6hWI)
Approach...
How to approach someone depends on a lot of factors. If you're completely out, and they are, then pretty easy. And if you're at a party, social setting, kind of easy to make small talk.
If it's some classmate, then you get into swimmerguy's situation now, where you don't know if they're gay. You may be out, but not everyone knows, and you're approaching someone you might not otherwise approach, blahblah.
I do think most people make mental games of dating as a form of procrastination, though. You think of perfect ways to approach, and settings, and script it out, etc., etc., and that buys you time from actually doing any of those things. Most people also see dating as adversarial, when it isn't.
You do seem to have a lot of rules about what you haven't done yet, but that's fine. I do think sex often comes before serious, although in principle it could be with the same person. Although that could be my generational distortion field coming into play (since I know a lot of virgins who claim to have ex's, which seems silly from my perspective). To me, serious is after you're dating someone for a few weeks or months, and sex rarely waits weeks or months if you are dating. So, if that is a demand, you're certainly thinning the potential pool of suitors. If I was dating someone and not having sex, I would personally see that as casual dating and not exclusivity, so you'll probably need to be clear if you're going against the grain on this stuff. Otherwise, they may be dating you and messing around on the side. Again, nothing communication can't clear up, but assumption won't be your friend here.
I don't think you get to decide when you will be serious about dating, as the whole process of dating is stumbling around, learning the language, the non-verbal cues, the interpersonal dynamics. So, that is the point of doing it early and often. When you're ready to be serious, it isn't just a switch you flip. Your game will still need a lot of work, so you'll be playing catch up on some front. This will potentially scare off some people who want someone who is clearer on what you want, which is, again, not a mental exercise and more often learned by dating what you don't want.
Also, flirting while dating is only an issue within an insecure relationship. You don't cut your dick off when you're in a relationship. You can point out a hot guy TO the person you're dating, etc. Just don't sleep with them, heh.
And if you have a circle of gay friends, you'll be kissing them all the time, hopefully with less tongue, but again... I'd say stop mentally planning your future and all its rules, and start living reality now and see where it takes you. Life is about the journey, not the destination, and you seem to be spending your journey planning the destination, which can only potentially make you unprepared for it.
I've learned this stuff by doing it the wrong way, too, btw. So, there is that...
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"You can judge the whole world on the sparkle that you think it lacks" - Dawes, When My Time Comes (http://youtu.be/Z0FrcTX6hWI)
Dating Aproach.
id if it was said or not, ut here is my two cents: Walk up to him and smile and ask him his name and tell him yours. Ask him if he would be interested in going out for coffee(offer to pay, it helps A LOT) and tll him thanks and get the date set up.
The Darkness is my ally. Those who face me shall know its wrath. From Darkness our world was made, and so to that Darkness shall it soon return unless we bring the Light of Unity and Love back to it.