Black Sheep
Thanksgiving wasn't much fun. In fact, it was horrible. It made me realize that I do not belong in my family. I am the black sheep of my mom's side of the family (hence the title of this here journal).
My grandma was talking about a magazine article she read about the most wholesome, religous states in the country, and my aunt said, word for word, "I used to think Iowa was a really good state, until they started letting the gays get married." And everybody agreed. She said "the gays" with so much disgust, like it's a fucking disease or something. I tensed up, and I could feel the anger, but I just sat there, gripping my glass of water until I thought it would break. I said nothing.
I let the anger fester inside me for the rest of the meal. I didn't speak much. I really don't belong with those people. Most of their conversations revolve around religion, around church. I'm a gay atheist with liberal views born into a family of conservative, devoutly Christian farmers.
I don't like being around my own family much anymore. We'll never be close. Thanksgiving made me question everything. When I get married, will my family be there, even if they don't agree with my choice? Will they pretend to be happy, will they even try to hide their disgust? If I'm happy the way I am, why should it matter to them?
Thanksgiving was a huge setback, to say the least. And to think I was so close to coming out to my mom. I know what she'll do. She'll call my grandparents, my aunt, and bitch to them about how I'm wrecking my life. I can just imagine becoming the family's dirty secret. Sure, they'll never bring it up when I'm around, but I can imagine the conversations they'll have amongst themselves, in their homes.
I'm completely alone in my family. I'm nothing like them. I don't belong. Family gatherings aren't fun anymore. I hate to admit this, but I feel so much resentment towards them, because they'd never accept me. They wave their Bibles around, flaunt their old-fashioned family values for the small-town church to see. They mean well and they're good people, I know, but...their faith has made them ignorant. Judgemental.
If you are not getting confirmation e-mails from Oasis to complete your membership, don't hesitate to e-mail jeff at oasismag dot com. Be sure to include your username.
Recent articles
Recent journal entries
Active forum topics
- The Curse of Reparative Therapy
- First Book: 'Keeping You A Secret' By Julie Anne Peters
- A Kids Reaction To A Gay Couple
- The Importance Of Giving Feedback
- Can you envisage an any more pointless existence?
- Advice?
- Will Portman - Son of Ohio's Senator Portman: His Column on Coming Out
- Can you imagine the vitriol unleashed by Republicans…
- coming out
- Islam and Homosexuality
Who's online
Online users
- MaddieJoy
- Mogul
Comments
Oooh my goodness
You are so strong! If I was you I would have smashed that glass and been like WILL YOU SHUT YOUR BIGOT MOUTHS?! I'M gay and I DON'T EVER WANNA HEAR THAT AGAIN.
but that's just me.
:'c if you need a place to stay or something, remember that I'm always free to take you if you get a way up here! In fact, you're most welcome!
-
That's redick!
I have a lot of
I have a lot of self-control. Or at least, that's what everyone tells me. I really wanted to just go home and shut myself in my room. Made me feel like shit.
Oh man, it would be soooo wonderful if I could take your offer. I still have no idea how that would even be possible though :|
Thank you for the offer. You're amazingly incredibly awesome <3
that sucks... not much you
that sucks... not much you can do. my family is a bunch of bigot rednecks too. I try to keep my mouth shut or I just explain n a rational way why they are wrong. then I i live my life my way and I get farther along and do better then they in their ignorant self piting self absorbed ways, they listen a little better now.
There is a principle which is a bar to all information which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance- that principle is contempt prior to investigation- Herbert Spencer
I could always try to
I could always try to explain why their views are wrong, but it would be like going in circles. Explaining something logical to a bunch of devout Christians is like...impossible. Logic and blind faith don't really mix.
-
Yeah i was around at my cousins who's parents are split up so i don't see them that much as often, and we both have very different personalities. It was so awkward and annoying as the cousin that i am the closest with is just a year younger then me and we were on his laptop and on facebook he put gay rights and wrote on their wall "gayyyyyyyyss" and was laughing. I just did not know what to do, i felt really uncomfortable but even though if we were not cousins i would probably not like him because of his social crowd and likes, we really get along and bond due from a very early age. Its just a strange relationship and like you said even though i have come out to my mum,dad and grandma, I find it unsettling when my cousins hear the news as they are just more traditional then my family.
Yes. Family. Ya gotta love
Yes. Family. Ya gotta love 'em, even if you can't stand being around them.
You should totally
get The God Delusion and read it in front of them :P
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xt5ghXdq6Z0&safe_search=on
I've heard of that book.
I've heard of that book. Isn't it basically a bible for atheists?
I can relate....
to the conservative family stuff. it's why I still haven't come out to my sister or immediate fam other than my liberal-ish mom.
and My turkey day also sucked. my aunt started ranting and yelling at me, and I fucking left and drove along mt baker hwy for the majority of the evening to check on the snow. surprised how little pow has fallen on the hill this late in the year.
Mental wounds not healing, driving me insane, i'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train- the ozzman
Jeez. I'm sorry. Well, at
Jeez. I'm sorry. Well, at least you were able to leave and drive around and have time to yourself to cool down.
yeah, it was good.
I had to 'apologize' to my aunt afterwards too...lol.
Mental wounds not healing, driving me insane, i'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train- the ozzman
I didn't
Even go to my parent's house for Thanksgiving. I did dinner and everything with L's family because I didn't want to see my mom and they all went to my grandparent's. I went to the movies with my dad and brother though, so that was nice. I miss my dad.
Other than that, this Thanksgiving was the best I've had in forever. L's family is great. And they all know we're dating and it's completely okay. I wish I could have that with my own family. But her family is my family now.
This is gonna sound really
This is gonna sound really stupid, but sometimes I imagine myself having an awesome girlfriend with an awesomely liberal, free-spirited family that would instantly adore me and accept me and consider me part of their family. And then I would have a cooler family. Which is kinda weird, cuz that would sort of make us sisters, but that's okay.
I understand. We don't feel
I understand. We don't feel like sisters, although we sort of look alike a tiny bit so people always ask us if we're related. We just laugh. We work at the same place and they call us the Twins. Especially when she has her glasses on instead of contacts. With our hats on we look even more alike. But it's cool. It's like a second family who is nicer and more 'normal' than the first.