I HAD TO WRITE TODAY!

socialist's picture

Yes, another journal. That makes four in one week, on top of tons of forum posts! I spend too much time on here. Most of the time, it's just open in te background while I'm on Facebook, doing homework, listening to music, etc., but still.

Last night and this morning, I couldn't stop thinking about that boy I've mentioned before. I listened to Hands Down by Dashboard Confessional (love song, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kVN2b0DdZAQ&ob=av3e) at least 15 times thinking about him. When it got to the end when he says "And you kissed me like you meant it," I got this feeling so strong I couldn't handle it. I kept imagining me telling him how I feel about him and him saying that he feels the same, but I know he doesn't.

Anyway, after that, I feel it's necessary to address this once more. I know, I mention it too much, but it's becoming more and more evident with every post: I think I'm one of the more feminine people on the web site. I act sort of ambiguous, but my mind is pretty girly. It's pretty obvious how girly I really am if you look at my Tumblr account that I neglect (www.socialismrules.tumblr.com). Pink text! :O

I love y'all on here. In this web site, I can post the most embarrasing stuff and I won't be judged. YEAH!

Comments

socialist's picture

Addition

Also, as you may have noticed, I just updated my picture (in which my hair is ugly; today is one of those rare bad hair days)! I have an actual picture of me now in stead of an annoying circle rainbow that I got off a Christian apocalypse web site. Anyway, I thought "why not, nobody I know knows about this web site, and even if they do, they won't make fun of me because they're queer, too."

---
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lJqnnIpP0o

socialist's picture

I fixed my hair and changed

I fixed my hair and changed it again. :D

---
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lJqnnIpP0o

elph's picture

I understand... totally!

I don't know the "whys"... but I do recall so vividly as a (gay?) teen... that amongst my personal attributes, my hair was the second most demanding of attention.

One's hair is likely the most effective non-vocal --- and quite visible --- device that you have to present yourself to your friends in the manner that you'd like.

The problem is that the "dialects" are so varied, and the perceived message each conveys can be so very subtle...

Eventually... you will find what works for you...

Then, you'll be freed to concentrate on those remaining objectives :)

****

btw: I very much like your new avatar... but, maybe, a bit larger?

elph's picture

Oh... You're so quick!

I hope you know when to slow down! :)

Anyway... Thanks for the enlarged avatar. You've nothing to be concerned about!

Perhaps We Should Leave's picture

Your hair is lovely.

I know the feeling, about the boy. I am in love with a particular girl... however, I'm quite sure she doesn't feel the same way for me. It's a shame, but I am happy with my situation at the moment and so... Why worry?

As for being one of the more feminine people, you should've seen me a few years back. An effeminate boy indeed.

* * *
It's high time,
Cymbaline;
Yes it's high time,
Cymbaline-
Please wake me.

elph's picture

Rather than having complimented...

...you, I am truly remiss instead for not having alerted you to its possible dangers.

Please take seriously Jeff's post here:

http://www.oasisjournals.com/2011/10/image-concerns#comments

Sorry... but this is the world as it now exists :(

Perhaps We Should Leave's picture

*well-meaning teasing*

Shame on you, Elphy. Shame on you for not expecting the unfortunately malicious nature of the internets.

* * *
It's high time,
Cymbaline;
Yes it's high time,
Cymbaline-
Please wake me.

elph's picture

Yeah...

I'm duly chastised!

socialist's picture

No similar pictures of me

No similar pictures of me exist on the internet, except on Tumblr, which I have already posted a link to. Only one of my friends knows I have a blog on Tumblr and she already knows I'm gay.

---
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lJqnnIpP0o

elph's picture

Makes sense to me...

How many times am I allowed to reverse myself in a single day? (Isn't there something like this in Alice in Wonderland?)

It's a great avatar... and I respect your courage to just ignore paranoia!

MacAvity's picture

I still see the

I still see the rainbow.
It's a nice rainbow, though - I didn't know they ever were small enough to be completely round. Is it a real photograph? I saw a complete circular rainbow once, but it was horizontal and I was looking down on it from the window of an airplane....