Anybody ever read The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne? I'm reading that right now for AP English. I'm 20 pages into it and it's really interesting. It is a very wordy book, I must say. I know that wordy is all the rage in classic literature, but god does it give me a headache. I do appreciate how well it's written though. I can't wait to dissect the moral themes and stuff. AP English is the perfect class for me, I swear. Analyzing literature, writing descriptive essays and narratives...it's heaven.

I also adore my AP English teacher. She's very passionate about what she teaches and it's contagious. I love teachers that are like that. She's also very keen when it comes to critiquing our writing. FINALLY an English teacher that challenges me! It seems I, the aspiring author, have finally met my match.

I've been reading more from the Satanic Bible. It's interesting, but it's very contradictory. I can't tell...do Satanists believe that there is a God, or don't they? Do they believe in finding the truth, or do they believe in lying? I was hoping reading it would provide some clarity to certain aspects of life. Not that I was hoping to convert to Satanism or anything. But, just like Christianity, it only brings up tons of questions, contradicts its own principles, and makes those principles unclear. Or maybe I'm just too dumb to read such a complex book.

My dream college, Columbia College in Chicago, has a huuuge LGBT club. This is just another thing on a looong list of awesome things Columbia has. Tuition is almost 40,000 a year though, I think. I may need to double check that. I must go there! I don't care if I have to pay off student loans until I'm 50. Columbia sounds absolutely wonderful. The awesome LGBT club makes me want to go there even more. UGH.

Mother has returned from her trip to Las Vegas. Thank goodness. I missed her dearly. My sister and I baked her a cake and we bought her a birthday present, since her birthday was a few days ago. I really take that woman for granted, I think. Every time we hug or have these close moments, it pains me. Not only do I take her for granted, I also can't bring myself to tell her who I am. It really hurts. I came really close to bursting into tears when she came back. Fucking hell. I am so pathetic.

I know this sounds horrible, but I'm glad my grandparents aren't looking after me anymore. I love them to death, but they were starting to get overbearing. Not that I don't appreciate it.

This crush on newspaper girl is starting to get out of hand. I cannot afford to crush this hard on someone. My track record has been awful. It's a waste of my energy and I need to get over it. I thought maybe we could just be good friends, but I don't see how that's possible. She talks to A LOT of different people and I never get a chance to speak to her. And that makes me want her more and then...blarg. This will probably get worse before it gets better. Here we go again.

Working on the newspaper should be fun.