and by "things", I mean what the really hot guy in Math class looks like.
I mean, my memory kinda blows, what with the minimal amount of sleep I get, which gives me a hard times sometimes.
I like English teacher, cause he's like this really philisophical guy who connects every single assignment to some totally different concept somehow, and we spend most of class listening to him basically think aloud about it.
Well, the subject today was short and long term memory, and how there are some things that are just etched in your memory and you don't forget them.
For example, in 3rd grade, we had to memorize a poem every week and recite it to the teacher for credit.
And, the very first time we had this poem, I overreacted and really drilled that poem into my memory.
So now, even now, late at night some 7 years later, tired out of my mind, I can still remember the first poem we ever learned in 3rd grade, called "Autumn" or something or other, I didn't really learn that part:
I like the woods in autumn, when dry leaves hide the ground.
When the trees are bare, and the wind sweeps by with a lonesome rushing sound.
I can rustle the leaves in Autumn, I can make a bed in the thick dry leaves that have fallen from the bare trees over head.
I dunno why I can remember that particular one so well, I swear those are the perfect words, from memory, and I haven't seen that poem in at least 7 years.
I've just looked them up now, apparently there was an "and" before "I can rustle the leaves in Autumn"...
So, obviously that went in my long term memory.
Something else that I'm trying to figure out is what that extraordinarily hot boy in math looks like.
Cause I imagine that the jacking off would be fantastic, but I can't remember.
I study him like a creeper, but I can't remember...
When I commit it to long term memory, I hope so.
Well, so, while I have nothing better to do, I'll write philisophical things about memory:
It seems selective. For instance, I can remember thinking something yesterday, and I have not the slightest clues what it was, but for some reason I can remember thinking about that thought, thinking that it was very, incredibly insightful, and I'd like to post it.
I wish I didn't remember thinking about it in exchange for just remembering it.
From things I've read, the human mind has such great powers of memory that the reason we can't seem to memorize anything is because things get lost somewhere deep inside all our memories, but it is there.
I remember something said that under the right circumstances, people could probably recite every person they've ever met, all the names they've ever heard, basically everything, every second, is being squirreled away somewhere.
Which is odd to think about. I have very few memories of before I moved to Washington more than 10 years ago now in 2001, from back when we lived in Nevada.
I can remember a few things, one afternoon where me, my brother and a few of our friends jumped on the trampoline (still behind our new house here) and then found what we called a stink beetle because it sprayed stinky fluid.
I remember I used to run up the big grand stairs of our house, and then in the semi-darkness I'd see the pictures of our family on the wall, and then I'd see that most of the eyes were red from shitty cameras, and I'd run back down and hide from those scary ass pictures.
I can remember at preschool that one time I ate soap. I can't actually remember eating the soap, but I can for some reason remember the soapy taste, and the regret of doing something that stupid, afterwards.
So the thought that apparently everything in between those and farther back might be somewhere inside this fat head of mine is odd...
But for some reason apparently some people have it sorted out. For some reason or another they can just remember everything. There are people who you can ask them any date going back 20 years and they'll tell you the day of the week and the weather of that day. And you can tell that they're actually remembering that day, what they did that day.
Hell if I can do that. I go to summer camp every year, this year was my 9th. I can remember endless, countless memories from camp.
But I'd be damned if I can seperate what year they happened in, apart from the year we just had.
As far as I know, something could have happened last year, or 6 years ago, or whenever.
It all blends together.
There was something once I read in a book, "when it comes to the past, we all stack the deck". And I guess that's true.
I've heard things about how in the past, sometimes we remove events and insert others.
When people are asked about what they were doing on 9/11, even on that fateful day, the accounts they gave then, and the accounts they give now are different, there are things removed and things added, even though they'd swear by what they did based on what they said now, sign affidavits and swear on it and stuff.
But they're wrong, and they don't even know it.
I'm sure people do all the time what professor Slughorn did in Harry Potter, think about memories, agonize over them again and again until they can convince themselves that they did things differently, and actually sort of come to believe in it...
One last thing, it seems to me that our person is kinda based on our memories. That was talked about in 1984.
Most of my young childhood, how I can't remember it, it might as well not have happened, for all I know, we all didn't wear clothes around the house for the first 5 years of my life, I wouldn't be able to say that's not true.
If we can't trust our memories, what can we trust?
If someone dropped a pencil and it hit the ground, and you saw that and would swear to it, but then a day later all other witnesses would swear that it floated in the air, they have video evidence for it, all the witnesses passed lie detectory tests, what would you do?
Does what you remember change reality?
Is there really a reality, or is it all just memory in the past?
If you change your memory, you might as well change reality?
I swear, swear I remember in the 2010 Soccer World Cup, that the US lost to Ghana in the end of the game because of a bad call by a ref, a call that was speculated was paid off.
But my brother has repeatedly said that it was not Ghana they lost to, and not only that, but they didn't lose. They were tied to Slovenia.
I check that now, it's true.
If you can't trust your memory, what can you trust? What is there?
I saw a documentary about a man with severe brain damage giving him a short term memory of 6 seconds.
He'd kiss his wife and do it again seconds later because he couldn't remember doing it before. He wouldn't remember how she got there.
Every time he saw his yard, he saw it for the first time.
He still had some long term memory, but jeez.
If you know you can't remember anything? If you couldn't remember a single thing?
That's like the Silence in Doctor Who, you can't remember them unless you're looking directly at them, and then forget them immediately when you look away.
Are we built by our memory?
Whatever, this is probably just a buncha random rambling bullshit, but I think I might have that hot math class boy remembered again, and I'd probably better...act on that before I forget again, only to remember a little longer next time...
So, g'night Oasies!