I am having awful luck getting a job. I've been trying since the beginning of summer. No business ever contacts me after I give them my application. Today I turned in applications to 4 different places. One of them might hire me, two of them aren't hiring for the position I want, and the last one, which was hiring for all positions and was my best bet for a job, only hires people over 18. Why? Because employees have to use box cutters. WHAT? What is this nonsense? Do they think I'm gonna shank a customer? Or cut myself opening a box and sue the company? For fuck's sake, I'm not a child and I think I can handle using a god damn box cutter.
I was fuming when I left the place. Let's see...after today, I've applied to 8 or 9 places. Maybe even 10. I tried to stay away from fast food. I've only applied to the cleaner fast food places. But I don't think I have a choice anymore. I've heard awful stories from people who have worked in the greasiest fast food joints in town, and it makes me wanna vomit. So, does anybody here work in a fast food restaurant? Please tell me it's not as bad as everyone says it is.
I've been considering dropping German after this year. Not because I'm a quitter, but because I just can't follow anything anymore and it's not fun anymore. Why would you combine the German IV class with the AP German class? The AP kids can speak German like pros, but us German IV kids haven't learned a lot of verbs and adjectives. It isn't really fair that the teacher expects us to be at the same level as the AP students. So I dunno.
I really really miss talking to my counselor. I have so much I want to talk about with her. I feel weird right now. A lot of weird things are happening. I mean, I'm so much more confident with myself. I laugh more, I smile more, I can talk to people I don't know without getting nervous. My mood swings aren't nearly as extreme as they once were. I'm comfortable with myself, who I am. I like the direction I'm heading.
But what? What do I have to complain about? Nothing, really. I feel so strange. I can't even put a word to it. I mean, I've been put in some situations lately with certain people that have been slaps in the face, but...I dunno. I just don't know.
My best friend whom I had a crush on has started speaking to me again. She's been wonderfully nice, and very affectionate. I'm still cautious though. The great thing is that I know I won't invest all of my time and energy in our friendship like I did last time. I'm not attached in an unhealthy way anymore, and I think she knows this. I can support her without being clingy, and I can listen to her talk about guys without getting jealous. So it's great. I love the sweet side of her. But, if she starts to become a cranky irritable bitch again, I am not afraid of speaking up, unlike last time. This time is different. I will let her know if she starts to be a bitch again. This will be her final chance. If things end up like they did last time, I'm done. I can't put myself through it all again.
Wow. I've really changed since the beginning of last year. I've never been so independent and confident before. It feels fucking amazing.