1) I have a completely different definition of beauty than most people. If you showed me a picture of a model on a magazine cover, and you were like, "Damn, isn't this chick gorgeous?" I'd say no. Not really. I go for a modest, unappreciated kind of beauty. The kind of attractiveness that not everyone notices, but when I notice it, it's amazing. I don't really know how to explain it. The girls in my school who most people see as so-so pretty and/or plain-looking, I see as gorgeous.
2) I don't bond with other girls very easily, and the few times that I have bonded with a girl, I always ended up depending on them too much and crushing on them and stuff. It's never a balance. I'm either too casual in the friendship, or I throw my entire self into it and I hurt myself.
3) I have a crush on my sixth-grade teacher. I saw her at a restaurant last night, and she had tattoos on her arms. I mean, whoa. A teacher with tattoos and is artsy and intelligent and strange and attractive? Yes please. If only I were 15 years older...
4) I need to keep going to counseling. I thought I could quit going, but there's still things I need help working through. So, once my counselor returns from her maternity leave, I will be going again. She had a daughter by the way. I need to congratulate her when I go again.
5) I really, really, really want a girlfriend. Soooo bad. I'm sick of not knowing what it's like to hold hands with someone and hug them and cuddle with them and tell them I love them. I want that. My friends all have boyfriends. They have someone to call when they're bored or lonely, someone they're comfortable with and can just be themselves with. Why can't I have that?
6) My style is changing. I used to wear strictly skinny jeans and T-shirts. Now I wear lots of sophisticated stuff that shows off my curves. These new shirts aren't overwhelmingly girly, but they make me feel more attractive. So yay for that.