I'm not saying you've never been depressed or that if you have its been not too bad. What I'm saying is that you can't judge my depression unless you're in my shoes. Even though we've both been depressed, that does not make them the same. Nor better, nor worse. There are no two depressions that are exactly alike. That's what I'm saying. That you really cannot judge how bad my depression is unless your me. No one can judge my depression, no one can measure it fully if the person is not me.

Great, I attempted, too.

Do you know what kind of house I'm even from? Do you know my whole history of what's happened in my life? The trauma and all the fucking experiences I've ever had in my whole entire life?

What do I do you ask? I do art--drawing, writing, photography. I practice contortionism. I take nature walks alone to feel more at one with the earth. I read. I go to school. I sit in the grass alone just to have some thinking time. I listen to music. I talk to the girl I like. On the rare occasion, I'll see friends.
I am trying. What happens is that even after I have a positive experience, my mood plummets. After I see a friend, I often become severly suicidal.

So I know that you say you're trying to help and that yuo know what its like to be depressed. But what I'm saying is that , sure, you know what its like to be depressed--I'm not doubting that. But there is no fucking way that you know what its like for *me* to be depressed. I don't know what its like for *you* to be depressed.
So it wouldn't be right of me to say "Oh, just go take a walk outside and hold your head up,your fine," because I am not in your shoes.
And for that very same reason, I can't stand when people assume that my depression is the same as theirs.

And no, I'm not saying my depression is better or worse or anything like that. All I'm saying is you cannot in anyway, judge where I'm coming from. Because you don't know where I come from and what I've experienced. Does it hit you that maybe I don't write about things on here? Like, my experiences have not all been talked about in journals here.

And please, the last thing you should do is say that my depression is an easy fix or is invalid because I have a roof over my head, food on the table. That has absoluutely no fucking connection to depression.

You know what, I've tried to get better. I count the days clean that I've been. Its not like I don't try. What I'm saying is nothing has worked. Otherwise, if something *did* work, I'm pretty sure that these last 3.5years wouldn't have gone the way they did.
Whatever, they're over and done with. but you cannot no matter what say you know what my depression is like.

You know what depression is like. you know what your depression is like. But you do not by any means know what my depression is like. Just like I dont know what your derpession is like.

And I'm sick of people saying that they're trying to help, figuring if they say that then they can be however rude they want. What youve written to me is not helpful. That fucked up link with that picture---you think that that helps?! You think that makes me see myself in a better light? You cant send stuff like that and then expect me to be calm about it after you tell me "oh, dont get mad, all i'm trying to do is help." or "blahblahblah, everyone always takes what i say the wrong way." maybe thats because with that picture, for example, there is no fucking way that that'd be helpful for me. i'd be surprised if when you sent the link you thought it'd be helpful. were you trying for it to be helpful?

its not fucking helpful.