I'm in love with a Straight boy.

25 July, 2011 - 10:32am — stickygrey49

Hi,
I'm 14 and I "came out" last year that I was gay.
I am the only gay person there. However there are one or two Bisexual people (Boys and Girls). But I think i've fallen in love with a straight boy.
We talk a lot, we go out quite a lot with friends and it seems like he gives off signals. He'll rest his head on me, run his hand down my arm etc.
The very thought makes me smile lol x
He's 15. We've just left school for 6 weeks and I will be going into Year 10 and he, Year 11.
I have also been told that he's Bi by a couple o really close friends who used to hang out with him alot before I did and that he'd given someone from my school a BJ.
I don't know what to do.
I think i'm genuinely in love with him. ;-(
Can I have some help please? xx

Thanks,

Jack

Tags:

25 July, 2011 - 11:13am — elph

First... Try to just be a true friend

He could be gay... or, just very affectionate.

Until you know for sure, just have good times getting to know each other.

Save the more intimate possibilities until you're both ready.

Question: Do you know his "history?"

****

And... Welcome to Oasis.

I'd suggest, however, that you introduce yourself and post updates in the "Journal" section of Oasis.

25 July, 2011 - 11:19am — stickygrey49

History

What do you mean by history, He hasnt had a girlfriend since the middle of last year.

25 July, 2011 - 2:36pm — elph

You see...

I was not aware of this.

What I'd hope you can be assured of is that he is not one to just hunt out willing boys wherever possible. I have not the slightest reason to believe that this is true... but it's a possibility you should consider!

My hope is that the two of you may truly be able to share affections... and a lasting friendship!

25 July, 2011 - 5:29pm — jeff

Isn't...

Err, big leap from "might be bi" to sexual predator, no?!

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"Why be given a body if you have to keep it locked up in a case like a rare, rare fiddle?" - Katherine Mansfield

25 July, 2011 - 6:24pm — elph

Yep, it would be!

I was not jumping to any conclusion.

I'm merely saying that caution is always advisable in any relationship... whether it be gay, straight, or something else!

One should not assume that I was intimating anything unsavory...

25 July, 2011 - 7:14pm — jeff

Hmm...

It does sound way too suspicious to me. I mean, having a crush on a 15 y/o and hearing he might be bi and gives head is cause for celebration, not alarm.

Well, for a 14 y/o, that is. If it were me, then sure, caution would be acceptable. ;-)

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"Why be given a body if you have to keep it locked up in a case like a rare, rare fiddle?" - Katherine Mansfield

25 July, 2011 - 8:28pm — elph

Just "acceptable?"

Am I to understand, then, that you find my comments prudent?

25 July, 2011 - 9:24pm — jeff

Nah...

Way too suspicious. If you have to refer to something and then put in all bold "I have not the slightest reason to believe that this is true," it begs the question: why mention it then?!

Seems to be a huge leap from a rumor that his crush slept with a guy once to being concerned that this guy is on the hunt for willing guys to seduce and discard as part of some insatiable cocklust.

First off, rumors do not equal sexual history. Additionally, sexual history should have no bearing on a relationship, and if it does come up, perhaps bring it up when you're actually dating the person. Even then, it is usually the litmus of the insecure.

Beyond all of that, though, it sucks all the fun out of a crush to analyze it like this. ;-)

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"Why be given a body if you have to keep it locked up in a case like a rare, rare fiddle?" - Katherine Mansfield

25 July, 2011 - 10:43pm — elph

My comments: "too suspicious"?

I am truly chastened.

Let's just say that I had no intention other than to lend support to a potential friendship. It seems that there has been much too much errant "reading between the lines."

If my comments have been misunderstood, I find that in this thread yours have been equally cryptic and inviting to misunderstanding :) or, maybe :(, dunno!

Peace?

26 July, 2011 - 12:14am — Yamamoto

Jeff you are a really bad

Jeff you are a really bad person... I hope you rot in hell

26 July, 2011 - 12:22am — jeff

Hmm...

Perhaps you should put the criticism here and the hatred in the pm, and not the other way around, so people know what you're referring to?

Also, feel free to start a separate thread about me rotting in hell, so that Jack doesn't have to go through a second tangent to his question here.

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"Why be given a body if you have to keep it locked up in a case like a rare, rare fiddle?" - Katherine Mansfield

26 July, 2011 - 12:39am — Yamamoto

I refuse to make thread on

I refuse to make thread on Oasis anymore... I do PMs only... and comment where I see fit...

As I said before... you and Chris... accomplished your goals...

That is all I am going to say one the subject...

26 July, 2011 - 1:25am — lonewolf678

Sent you...

...a pm, hope you get it.

26 July, 2011 - 1:26am — Yamamoto

Lonewolf please stay out of

Lonewolf please stay out of this... I am trying to protect you... :(

25 July, 2011 - 9:37pm — jeff

Hey Jack, When you say you

Hey Jack,

When you say you "came out" last year, do you mean accepted yourself, or everyone knows?

If everyone at school knows, it makes your job easier, since it means you don't have to pretend or be concerned that he finds out.

If he's already a bit physical, and he knows you're gay, you have your work cut out with him.

The easiest thing would be to make some reference when he is being affectionate, something that reinforces you being gay and not questioning whether he is at all, like "Wow, can I order one of you in a gay model?" or "I wish I could find a gay version of you..."

That shows you're interested, but is also non-threatening, since you aren't saying you think he's gay/bi, you just wish he was. Then he knows he could confide in you, that you're interested in him, etc. But if you just ask him outright, a lot of people freak out if they aren't ready, or are caught off-guard, etc.

Beyond that, just maintain and build your friendship. You're always going to want to surround yourself with a lot of supportive people in life, the majority of which, sadly, you don't get to sleep with.

Whether he'll end up being a friend, a fuck, a date, or a boyfriend... you can't really control these things. Just enjoy his company, and find where you share interests, etc. During the summer, see if you can come up with a movie to see together or something, but just keep it casual.

If you pursue someone who is gay/bi, they'll sort it out. If you pursue him and he's straight, he'll probably remain clueless you even have a crush on him.

And I wouldn't mention the rumors, when he's ready, he'll tell you as much as he's comfortable with... and if you just end up kissing him, you probably don't need him to say he's into guys anyway.

Oh, and welcome to Oasis!

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"Why be given a body if you have to keep it locked up in a case like a rare, rare fiddle?" - Katherine Mansfield

25 July, 2011 - 9:44pm — stickygrey49

my crush.

I told everybody that I was gay and I've accepted it. Thankyou for the advice though Jeff. I would never have mentioned the Rumors to him anyway, I just thought it may have been an inication. I just wish I knew what i could do to air my feelings and see his without freaking him out ...

25 July, 2011 - 9:50pm — jeff

Well...

I've always been a fan of "I wish I could find a gay version of you..."

Puts everything out there, and gives him a perfect opportunity to open up to you, if he wants to. he may also say, "Yeah, too bad I'm not." So, you never know.

But is it about as non-threatening as can be.

Can't say I've had the opportunity to use it in ages, though. I'm surrounded by gays now, hehe.

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"Why be given a body if you have to keep it locked up in a case like a rare, rare fiddle?" - Katherine Mansfield

25 July, 2011 - 10:20pm — stickygrey49