I absolutely love writing, and I thought I'd try my hand at slam poetry. I know it may have more feeling when read aloud, but I thought I'd post it anyways to see what you all think.
Falling in friendship
My heart speaks volumes and every time I take a breath I’m overcome with cold air being sucked into the vessels of my soul filling every chamber with the words I can never say to you.
It is too late for such hope now for friendship is a blessing and I be the witch that curse it if I should utter my inner most thoughts that keep me strangled in fear on these nights when the wolf’s howl rides a shrill wind cutting a path to the moon in the sky much like the tears that scar my face in my silent cries.
Hold me. My lips whisper softly words that I know you will never hear, because the phone in my hands traps me to the written socialite I’ve become overtime. This weight bears down on my palms, and my fingers feel like razors scratching at the wrists of my sanity, never slowing as I speed to type all of the feelings bursting from my heart onto the luminescent screen of my phone, my blood on a broken canvas.
Press send. Just press the freaking button. All at once my fingernails are slates of steel holding me down and in place, to protect me from the damage my heart screams to make but I won’t go down without a fight. Clawing at the walls I’ve built so long around my heart that bits and pieces of my troubled past crumble at my feet and I watch them fall like a silent movie all pictures no sounds coming from my lips for I am silent while every fiber in my being screams to reach for the pieces to put my shield back together. I need all the armor I can get.
Love is war. They say there’s a happy ending for everyone, but how do they know when it gets to be too much for one to handle. I’ve spent hours alone in my room of thoughts and I’ve decorated every square inch with the person I thought I wanted to be someday, the person I thought someone would want to love and hold in this world that shakes us all.
You’re my earthquake. You shook my soul until every layer of foundation broke loose and I was forced to reexamine the way I have been living my life out silent and sheltered wishing for someone to see something in myself that I have been creating an architect of sorts that won’t stop working at the sign of dusk, that’s doesn’t know when to let go of the plans she made the blueprints she worked so hard at setting for herself, and she won’t even let herself begin again.
Some architect. And as I sit under the stars contemplating my wish to vanish into the cold night air, I feel your smile in the way the moon shines across my backyard and I know that I am not a ghost of who I thought I was my soul freezing with every breath I take. No. I am alive and well and every hope I’ve ever sent by way of carrier pigeon in my dreams will find its way back to me as long as I keep believing in myself like you did. When I feel like I’m walking a tight rope and my balance falters and I no longer have the shelter of a net of silence beneath me, I won’t resist my doom. Because all the pain and suffering in the world could never equal the sensation of falling in friendship.
Thanks for reading! :)