So anyway, I got glasses yesterday. I look good (not like self-flattery), I like to have a postitive self image. So yeah. I was blown away at how bad my eye sight was. I'm nearsighted and also have an astigmatism. When I looked up at the clouds I started crying. I couldn't believe how beautiful they were.
I could see true colors, I could see far away when the far off objects were blurry. I thought everyone saw things the way I saw them. Everything looks even more beautiful now. I'm still having trouble believing that people with normal eyesight see everything so clearly. Everything is so much more defined. It's like everything I see is a piece of art.
But I digress. My sister is moving back in with us... I'm upset to be honest. Turns out here pile of crap boyfriend told her to get out of their apartment. My sister has two kids and she's 7 months pregnant. My mother still can't walk very well and I can't walk well because of my chronic mystery pain. I wish she could just go ruin someone else's home.
She doesn't clean up after her kids and I seen the horror of dirty diapers overflowing in a garbage bin and roaches galore. The sticky grip of the floor as you try to walk through hair and large pieces of food her kids refuse to eat. And the smell, oh my God the smell. The horror of it all. I hate that she takes advantage of my mother.
I'm really upset about this whole thing. I wish she could get her life together. For a high school drop out she isn't fairing well on her own. I can't even express my feelings without using profanity. Yes, it is that bad. I guess I'll just argue with her regularly and see if that has any effect. She really needs to start getting her shit together.
But I think back on the fouth pillar of Islam. Charity, and through this I'll try to help a family member. But I just hate how it takes a toll on my Mother. I wish my mystery pain would go away so I could handle this better.