This time I made it 13 days.
Now restarting the count. Yes, again.
Let's hope that next time you'll make it to 14 days. No, wait...waayyyy longer than that :)
I don't know a better solution, but the counting does seem to have a "Let's see how far I can make it" element to it. Even successful 12-steppers are still counting, "Five years, 6 months, and a 4 days sober," etc. Measuring how long you haven't done something builds when you last did it into the equation, so everyday you are not only thinking of the sobriety but the last offense, which seems a very Catholic mindset. It just seems like true sobriety doesn't need breadcrumbs.
"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." - Kurt Cobain
...are very hard to keep.
My angst, however, came from a quite different activity... always followed by my plea to God that I be forgiven for having again succumbed.
How diabolical: How could God make something that was so enjoyable, but if pursued would assure one's early and painful death with eternity spent in hell?
Now... I know that those fears were totally irrational.
But we all were victims of those perverse beliefs --- beliefs which were fueled primarily by errant and unbridled religiosity!
Thankfully, those days are (mostly) behind us.
I'm so sorry but I am completely and utterly confused.
I was not addressing your demon. :(
My demon at the time carried the name : Masturbation.
Was I so evasive with my language that this was not evident? :)
I tend to do things like that....
Power failure. Backups working... Must sign off...
Yeah, I had no idea.
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