Quick update:

10 June, 2011 - 12:21am — Riku

I really need to nap... But just so you guys know, surgery went really well. :D

You shoulda seen me when I first woke up. They gave me some pain medicine and I was as giddy as fuck. Apparently sometimes people wake from the anesthetic angry, but I was just ecstatic. And it didn't make me nauseous at all which is awesome. :] I've been wicked weak and tired feeling, but not nauseous at all. The worst of it was the combination of having a liquid only diet at the hospital. (Vegetable broth for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Yum.) and needing to call in a nurse just to pee, I was hooked up to a lot of stuff so I couldn't just use the toilet without some help.

Oh, and it hurt when they stuck the IV in me, but she only had to do it once and once it was over it was fine.

And then they put the anesthetic in me and I felt a little coldness running up my arm, then I got really dizzy and then I woke up. I don't remember falling asleep at all. Anesthetic is weird like that.

I've got tubes sticking out of my chest currently which is annoying but no big deal.

I can't wait until I get the drains out and don't have to wear my surgical binder anymore. I'm wicked excited for that.

Buuttt, I look and feel pretty good for someone that was just cut up.

soooohappy right now. :]

Tags:

Riku's journal

Comments

10 June, 2011 - 12:32am — jeff

Awesome...

Glad everything went well!

---
"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." - Kurt Cobain

10 June, 2011 - 12:40am — Yamamoto

What was the surgry for... I

What was the surgry for... I believe I missed that somewhere :P

10 June, 2011 - 12:56am — Riku

Sorry for not explaining...

I got top surgery.
I've waited two years for this, and I've written about it a lot here so I forget that new people don't know. XD;

But I'm trans and puberty did some pretty nasty things, (Well, only nasty because they happened to me, a boy.) to my body and this surgery fixed the chest problem. :] It's very exciting, and I really needed it. I still have a buncha healing to do, but it's all worth it.

10 June, 2011 - 12:56am — whateversexual_llama

yama- it was top surgery.

yama- it was top surgery. (ftm chest reduction, basically)

riku: congratssss!!!!

10 June, 2011 - 2:08am — Yamamoto

Oh so riku is a girl

Oh so riku is a girl becoming a dude, and the surgury was to have the breast taken off to make the outside look more like the inside?.... At least that is what I got... sorry for my stupidity :P

10 June, 2011 - 2:29am — jeff

heh...

I think it's more like he's a guy who had two tumors removed.

---
"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." - Kurt Cobain

10 June, 2011 - 5:51am — whateversexual_llama

Jeff jeff jeff <333

10 June, 2011 - 2:33am — Riku

Not exactly. I've always

Not exactly. I've always been a guy, I'm just aligning my body to fit my inner image of myself.

But other than that, yeah you got the gist of it.

...Or what Jeff said, that works too. XD

10 June, 2011 - 5:25am — Yamamoto

I know that Riku... I

I know that Riku... I acknowlegded that in my post when I said... you where having a surgy to make the outside macth the inside :P

10 June, 2011 - 5:58am — Riku

But you said that I was a

But you said that I was a "girl becoming a boy" and I'm not, that's what I was correcting. I've always been a boy, no matter what my body has looked like. Furthermore, the status of my body, or what people call me or have called me, has no bearing on my identity as male.

So I'm not a girl becoming a boy. I'm a boy who is fixing his body.

10 June, 2011 - 6:02am — Yamamoto

That part of my post was

That part of my post was just to clear of my mental image... I think in pictures so I needed a image to understand what was going on there. It had nothing to do with you actually being a boy or a girl... it was more about forming a mental image...

Heck if you want to know the truth I always thought you where a boy until this journal... :P

10 June, 2011 - 8:38am — Riku

I'm pretty picky about what

I'm pretty picky about what words I'm okay with people using to describe me. Not to mention, you weren't clear at all. But even if that is the case it's still problematic. I'm not male because I've changed my body. And being male isn't the entire reason that I did. There are trans people who don't change their bodies and their identities and bodies are just as valid as mine are.

Not to mention I'm a hundred times more feminine now than I was pre-transition.

But anyway, point is, "girl becoming a boy" does not describe my experience at all. The same way that "female to male" or "boy trapped in a girl's body" don't describe my experience, I wouldn't use those terms to describe myself and I don't want them used to describe me, that's all.

And you stopped? I didn't stop being a boy at any point in time.

10 June, 2011 - 5:31pm — Yamamoto

Again about that last image

Again about that last image it is a mental image issue. I had always pictured you as a boy, now I picture you as somthing else. It has always been my preferance to at lesat know what the people I talk to look like ok... so I am sorry if I am hurting your feelings, but to get a accurate discription I have to know these things. I will refer you however you want me to Riku... yet I was just asking for the information to get a mental... not to figure out what to call you.

Besides you shouldn't worry... I am going to keep thinking of you as a boy anyway. Becuase it is esaier to go with my first impression :D

10 June, 2011 - 6:56pm — Riku

But now you're assuming that

But now you're assuming that I don't look like a boy, or that I "look trans" which is silly because trans people's bodies are just as diverse as the bodies of cis people. There isn't any single "trans look" just as much as there isn't any single "cis look". Besides, I promise you, if you saw me on the street you'd have no idea.

It's silly to make assumptions about people, visually or otherwise, based on the status of their genitals... So you shouldn't picture me as something other than a boy because I'm not something other than a boy.

Besides, even if I were, you really have no idea what I look like anyway. I'm not sure how having a vague idea of the shape of my genitals changes that.

For example, I bet you pictured me as white right? I'm not. You don't know my skin tone, my eye color, what shape my jawline is, how long my hair is, or any of that... But you think you can assume what I look like based on the fact that I have a vagina?

You should think of me as a boy because I identify as a boy, not because that's your impression of me.

10 June, 2011 - 7:50pm — Yamamoto

Again... I want to get a

Again... I want to get a accruate mental image of what you look like. I am sorry, but unless you send me a picture then it will be what it is... so I am sorry if that sound insestive, but that is just the way I work. It is called first impressions and to me at first I thought of you as indeed some white dude... thought the bleeding problems did kind of throw me off to where I was thinking... 'wait is this a dude with a vagina?'.... I am sorry if that bothers you that I want to have a mental image of what you look like, but until I have somthing to correct it there is really nothing I can do.

I will contiune to refer you as a boy, but my mental picture is not going to change except for the fact I now know that you are not white ;P... I mean it may sound insenstive, and I really don't mean for it to, but at least now it is esaier to picture you as a dude with a vagina :P... sinice you had your surgry :)... Makes more sense :P

10 June, 2011 - 8:19pm — elph

OMG!

I think you've got it.

10 June, 2011 - 8:30pm — jeff

Well...

There's a huge chasm between locking down the anatomy and locking in the vocabulary. I don't think it is typical to discuss a transguy's vag, despite the fact that they might discuss them on here as part of some 'Why is this thing still bleeding?' angst.

Aside from Magic Fantastic, I just think of everyone here as being all smooth down there like a Ken doll. Makes things much easier.

---
"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." - Kurt Cobain

11 June, 2011 - 1:41am — Riku

Pfff... I just explained to

Pfff...

I just explained to you why you don't have anything close to an accurate image of me. Okay, you know I'm not white now, but that could mean dozens of things. And what it means in my case is almost certainly not what you're picturing. It is insensitive, because you're making the excuse "that's just the way I work" but without taking a second to reassess your position... But I've come to expect this kind of behavior out of you really.

Besides, do you normally picture everyone you meet down to their genitalia? Because usually, when I meet people, I look at their faces. And usually, when I picture people, I picture them clothed. In fact, the only cases that I'll think about or picture other people's genitals are cases where they're brought up, (like if we're talking about sex or medical stuff) or cases where I'd like to touch them at some point in the future. And in the former case I don't bother thinking of them again once the discussion is over.

And for the record, many trans men are not okay with having their parts labeled things like "breasts" and "vagina". For example, I'm not okay with having my chest, or what was my chest called "breasts". I never was. But I'm okay with calling my extra hole a vagina. But that's just me personally and you shouldn't assume.

I didn't get surgery so that you could have an easier time picturing me.

And frankly, your fixation on the fact that I have a vagina is kinda creeping me out. I know I talk about it openly, but the fact that you insist on picturing me a certain way because of it is kinda creepy. If you want to picture what I look like why can't you picture me with clothes on?

11 June, 2011 - 6:03am — Dracofangxxx

Hmmm...

So if you get breast cancer, what are you going to call it?
-
That's redick!

11 June, 2011 - 6:04am — jeff

Err...

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/male-breast-cancer/DS00661

---
"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." - Kurt Cobain

11 June, 2011 - 7:21am — Dracofangxxx

Well he was like

"For example, I'm not okay with having my chest, or what was my chest called "breasts". I never was. "

And I'm just curious as to what you'd call breast cancer then? Chest cancer? Even if it's in the mammary organs of your male breasts?

Confused Shelby is confused.
-
That's redick!

11 June, 2011 - 10:07am — Riku

Hm. I'd never thought about

Hm. I'd never thought about that.

I'd call it breast cancer though. I don't think that'd bother me. (Well, HAVING breast cancer would bother me a great deal. But calling it that wouldn't.)

I think in that case it's a lot more medical and gender neutral sounding. (Breast is technically a gender neutral term, but when was the last time you heard a cis guy call his chest "breasts"?) It's weird. But I mean, I don't try too hard to make sense of it, I just know what I'm comfortable with and what I'm not, and that's the important part.

My life has matters much more pressing than what words I use to describe my body with and why. XD;

10 June, 2011 - 1:12am — 625539

I'm so happy for you! !! I

I'm so happy for you! !!
I know how long you've wanted this so this is really, really great!

10 June, 2011 - 1:27am — MacAvity

Oh, congratulations!

That's FANTASTIC.
You've been needing this for such a long time, and now it's happened. Wow. I repeat: FANTASTIC!

10 June, 2011 - 2:21am — radiosilence95

Congratulations my friend!

Congratulations my friend! I'm so glad everything went well for you. It must be such a relief. :D

10 June, 2011 - 2:35am — Riku

Alkdsklad thanks everyone.

Alkdsklad thanks everyone. :D

I'm so sore but so happy. X3 Most of the most irritating parts will go away in a few days. Until then I have pain medicine and my bed. Haha. And I didn't react badly to this pain medicine either, which is good. :]

10 June, 2011 - 2:49am — kamkam

congrats dude

I'm real happy everything went well

may the crests of light,love,hope,courage,and kindness shine brightly on a new day.

10 June, 2011 - 6:34am — ImpossibleCherr...

Yipee! that's great! This

Yipee! that's great!
This made me smile. It's nice to hear that something so anticipated went so well. Good luck with the pain meds (and dude, I'm so sorry. Can't stand pain meds myself) and, well, pain.

peace be with you.

"I am the master of my fate
I am the captain of my soul"

10 June, 2011 - 8:43am — Riku