My eight favorite songs are (in no particular order)
I Won't Say (I'm In Love) from Disney's Hercules
My Happy Ending by Avril Lavigne
No Good Deed from Wicked
Total Eclipse of The Heart (Glee Cast Version)
Alone In The Universe from Seussical
It's My Life by Bon Jovi
Second Chance by Shinedown
One More Angel In Heaven from Joseph And The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat
See? I fail.
I'm really freaked... I'm okay right now, but I think that's mostly because I'm lightheadedly weird and slightly headachey, which distracts me from life in general.
But last night, the Internet once more failed me, and I was feeling pretty damn awful... basically I became convinced that I was a really terrible person and that I was depressing other people's lives. Yayyyy. And I cried for like... forty-five minutes? And I really had nothing to cry about, as nothing actually happened to upset me, thereby qualifying me as an overemotional, wimpy dramawhore. Which I was perfectly aware of, and this upset me even more.
And I sort of self-harmed, which, I hate to say it, made me feel better. It let me go to sleep if nothing else. I say sort-of because really all I did was intentionally scratch at a slight injury until it was an all-out injury, and then apply pressure to make it hurt. It didn't bleed, however, but I think it would have on anyone else. My veins are deeper under the skin than most people's (which is problematic as it means that when getting blood drawn I need to get stabbed WAY TOO MANY TIMES).
The creepy thing is that I woke up, and I'm pretty sure I was biting and scratching my arm in my sleep. There are scratches and bruises in the shape of tooth marks in my forearm. Which scares the crap out of me.
I'm wearing a long-sleeved T-shirt to bed tonight, just to be... safer... even though it's pretty warm. Has anything like that happened to anyone else?